Beautiful Disaster
by ultimaterockgoddess
Summary: Tommy and Jude pairing, tons o' drama. Adult Language. some adult situations but not 'adult' enough to be rated 'M'. on hiatus
1. Disclaimer

I forgot to put this in before…

Disclaimer I **do not** own anything having to do with Instant Star (unfortunately) I don't own the songs used in this story unless otherwise specified. If I do put in original work (songs) then DON'T steal it… I will hunt you down and kill you… GRRRR…. ok now that that's over and done with you may continue to read my story (o yea i own the idea the whole premise of this story and the characters that you don't recognize, lol)


	2. Prolouge: The Kiss that never was

**(Prologue) **

**The Kiss That Never Was**

"Say it Jude, Say it…" Tommy commanded

"Alright, fine! It never happened. Alright" Jude ran off sobbing when she saw a sign that said "Happy Sweet Sixteenth Jude" she ripped it off the glass and threw Tommy's jacket down on the floor. Jude's memory raced forward.

"But it did happen! How can I forget what you did to me! You kissed me! You told me to forget it ever happened. Well that's all that I could think about, that's all that I can still think about. I loved you damn it. I still love you. But I need you to tell me that it happened. That it was real. That what I, what we felt was real!"

"Ok, it happened. And I did feel something. But it doesn't matter now. It will be our little secret okay."

"But what does it matter, huh? So, what it happened! You're still dating Sadie. You're still…" Tommy cut her off

"No, I'm not. Not anymore. That's what I came to talk to you about. But then we kissed, and got caught up in the moment. Again." Jude looked at Tommy with confusion " I'm not producing your next album. I'll be in the states for a while. I need to clear my head and get away."

"Tommy, you're leaving me, you can't! I need you!" Jude went into a barely audible whisper "I love you"

"I need time off. I just… It's just that I can't take this anymore. I keep hurting you. I just don't feel the same. You need to focus on your career not your stupid infatuation with me!"

"How do you know what I need Thomas Quincy! You're NOT a distraction. You're my inspiration. Tommy, I NEED YOU!"

"No, You don't! Seriously Jude grow up, quit with your crush on me and MOVE ON!" Even though Tommy said these things he didn't mean them. He loved Jude, it's just that it took too much restraint on his part not to walk up to her and kiss her every time he saw her. Tommy didn't want their relationship to end up on bad terms, but he knew that that was the only way that he could leave.

"FINE! LEAVE ME! DON'T COME BACK! EVER!" Jude screamed as she stormed out of the room.

Memories kept on flooding back to Jude. She finally decided to get up and walk around G major, the record company where she worked. Jude didn't know where she was walking to exactly but she ended up at the alley where Tommy had kissed her on her Sixteenth Birthday. It was like she was watching that fateful night all over again.

"The Kiss that Never Was" she said to herself as she raised her hand up to touch her lips. "That's more than twice in less than an hour that I've thought of you, Little Tommy Q" Her cell phone rang, it was she. She rolled her eyes and said "Oh god, what does he want" she flipped open the phone and answered. "Hi"

"Hey Shorty, I wanted to ask you if you wanted to go on tour with me. Darius said that I shouldn't have asked you myself but I wanted to apologize and ask you something else"

"Okay. What?"

"Another song, you and me, just like it was before…"

"Before what? Before that wanna-be Barbie Eden! Before you cheated on me! HUH! BEFORE WHAT!" she hung up her phone and screamed at herself "Not again, I won't go through this again! Not either one will get to me this time! It's been three months and not ONE WORD. Well you know what… I'M DONE WITH YOU QUINCY!" Jude broke down in that alley. About an hour later she stopped, went inside and grabbed her guitar. She thought as she strummed the first few bars to "Skin", '_I have Mike now_' She started to sing…

"I drift away to a place, another kind of life. Take away the pain I create my paradise. Falling apart and all that I'm asking, is it a crime am I over reacting? Oh, he's under my skin…" Jude stopped when she heard the door open. It was Chaz, another ex BoyzAttack member, Tommy's former band mate. She hadn't seen him since the charity concert.

"Jude, Where's Tommy?"


	3. HeartShaped Box

Chapter One

Heart Shaped Box

In 3 months Jude Harrison would be 20. She hadn't heard from "Lil' Tommy Q" in almost 3 years. He had left Canada to live in the states after he broke up with Sadie, just before Jude had turned 17. Tommy had realized that Sadie was just the closest thing that he could get to Jude without breaking the Law, even though he did have his slips every now and again. He hated that thought but knew it to be true. It wasn't the **entire **reason he dated her. He did care for her, but it started to become like a friendship to him, and he knew that no one could ever replace Jude in his heart. He had loved her with everything he was since her first saw her. He didn't believe in love at first sight until then. But Jude was only 16 at the time, and Sadie wasn't.

Since Tommy had left, Jude has had 4 triple platinum albums and numerous boyfriends (none of which compared to Tommy) and she was now engaged. Her fiancé, 22-year-old singer/songwriter/actor/director Mike Harris, was less than thrilled when he came to his and Jude's apartment and heard what was on the answering machine.

"H-h-Hey, Jude. (under his breath but loud enough that Jude understood) God Quincy, what was that. (now in regular voice) what I meant to say was HI JUDE. How have ya been girl? I just wanted to let you know that I'm back for good and got my job back, I'm producing your next album!" Tommy's voice rang over the machine. Mike was in a fury. BEEP. He had pressed the delete button on the machine. He wanted to tell Jude, He wanted to gauge her reaction. Mike knew as well as anyone else that, even though Jude put on a good masquerade, she wasn't over him. Not as much as she let on, but he was still confident enough in himself that he'd tell her.

Jude was coming back from her old house where she had just got done having one of her numerous fights with Sadie when she started thinking; ever since Tommy left it hadn't been the same between them. Even though Tommy never said the reason why he broke up with Sadie or why he left, Sadie knew. Sadie didn't love Tommy, she liked him but didn't think that she could ever love him. It was just the fact that Jude had a better shot with him. It was always a competition with Sadie, even in love. Sadie knew all of this, yet she couldn't let Jude win.

When Jude got home Mike asked her quite sullenly and doubtfully, already knowing the answer and knowing she wouldn't answer truthfully

"Are you **really** over Lil' Tommy Q?" Every time his name was mentioned Jude would get one of her famous 'I miss him so much, I wish he was here' looks.

"How could you even think that!" Jude asked even though she was unsure of her answer.

"Well… ARE YOU!"

"YES!" while quietly thinking to herself _I'm really not sure. Jude YES YOU ARE. YOU LOVE MIKE NOT TOMMY! Tommy has dropped you like you were nothing. Remember that._

"Why the sudden paranoia" Jude found herself asking.

"Well…I…uh-erm-um… He's back, He's your producer"

"WHAT! DOES GEORGIA KNOW ABOUT THIS? '_Duh Jude of course she knows, she hired him' _I mean, WHAT WAS SHE THINKING!"

"Yeah, Georgia called this morning. Apparently he wants to be your producer from now on. He's oblivious to what's going on here, and what's going on with you" Mike said, lying without a problem; he almost smiled at the thought. He wasn't going to let her know that he took the time to call her himself.

"Apparently"

"No, I mean he doesn't even know that you have a boyfriend, let alone a fiancé" He was thinking smugly to himself '_I beat out Lil' Tommy Q'. _Jude's eyes started filling up with tears, as she thought of her engagement to Mike, and everything else that has been going on. Especially about her and Chaz, '_Oh god, Chaz'_

"Honey, I gotta go"

"What I thought Georgia didn't want you at the studio till 9?"

"No, Not to Georgia… I just need to you know… Clear my head" Jude grabbed her bag, keys, and some lip-gloss and walked out the door. She got in her car and drove to where Chaz was staying. She started to think about the past years and when her and Chaz started their "relationship".

She wasn't even legal yet but Chaz didn't care. After the charity event, he wanted her and he wanted her bad. He couldn't get to her right after because he had to go to one of his clients in Rome. About 3 months after that Tommy left, Chaz didn't know that, he came to the studio to talk to Tommy about Jude but he heard her singing "Skin" acoustically.

"Jude, Where's Tommy?" Jude tried not to cry but that's all she's been able to do lately is cry. "Skin" was about her dad but lately those words never rang so true "_Oh, he's under my skin. Just give me something to get rid of him_" She started to break down, she couldn't contain herself anymore. She didn't care that she barely knew Chaz she just knew that she could take solace in his arms. She ran to him and they're eyes met, without saying anything it was like hers and Tommy's history flew in front of them Chaz understood everything and Jude forgot it all. Chaz pulled her into him and kissed her. She started to kiss him back then she pulled away.

"Wait I'm only 16"

"Jude I don't care, Do you?"

"No"

"Ok then, come here" and with that he pulled her closer and enveloped her in his muscular arms.

"Wait"

"What? You've changed you're mind?"

"No, I just… Have never done this before and I don't want to do it here."

"Ok, Let me go get my car and we can go to my place, do you want that?"

"Yes" Jude said that with so much lust and passion in her voice that she wasn't sure if she wanted to wait. Jude was waiting outside when Chaz came around and very chivalrously opened the door for her and kissed her. On the car ride to Chaz's apartment Jude started to laugh as Chaz split his attention between her and the road.

"SHIT!" She screamed

"WHAT?" Chaz asked with concern in his voice

"I…I…I…uh…sorta have a boyfriend"

"I can keep a secret if you can" With that Jude leaned into him and kissed him. The car swerved a little.

"Whoa, watch it girl, you're gonna make me wreck"

"Don't call me that"

"What, girl?"

"Yea, to—he used to call me that"

"Ooooooh, Ok" Jude started to laugh. He was adorable so considerate he was so, well, so much like Tommy. But He was different… He was… he was Jude's fantasy Tommy. The Tommy she had always wished he'd be. When they finally got to his apartment. Chaz lit some candles and made some Dinner.

"So are you still trying to get Tommy to do a Boyzattack reunion tour?"

"Well, sort of. But that's not what I came to talk to him for" Questions filled Jude's mind, she didn't want to ask for fear of the answer. But it came out any way.

"Then what did you want to talk to him about"

"You" Chaz's eyes were pleading now with a sort of dull light saying 'don't leave'. Jude just stood up, walked over to him gave him a playful punch then a teasing look as she went into the bedroom.

From then on Jude and Chaz's relationship had developed. He really started to love her and her him. But they couldn't be together for fact that she was engaged and that it would have to come out eventually what had happened all those years back.

With that Jude snapped back to the present. She was pulling into the apartment building parking lot where Chaz was waiting for her.

"Glad to see that punctuality is still your greatest asset" Chaz said with sarcasm in his voice.

"Shut up and get in. I haven't seen you in like 2 months and you come back with snide remarks. Maybe I should just leave now." As Jude said this she playfully punched his shoulder. They started to kiss when an all too familiar sound came from behind. Jude turned around to see Tommy's blue Viper. She started to pull away when Chaz asked quizzically

"What have we got to hide from him, you're going to be 20 in 3 months… Wait… what is _he_ doing here"

"Producing my album" Jude said under her breath

"WHAT! And when were you going to tell me this!"

"I had planned on it but…"

"What's going on here, a secret love affair" Tommy cut Jude off with sarcasm

"No! of course not" Jude said convincingly. Tommy had no reason to doubt her because he didn't catch them in half of the positions Georgia and everybody else had caught _them_ in. Chaz just looked at her quite insulted and stormed off

"Jude, Tommy I gotta go set up."

"What the hell is his problem?" Tommy said to Jude

"He's just been...uh… wanting to ask you something, I guess. Tommy, I have something to tell you."

"I don't want to hear it" Tommy puts his arm around her waist and puts his other on her head. He pulled her into him and kissed her passionately. Jude kissed back with equally as much passion and places her arms around his neck. Their lips never left each other's. Jude all of the sudden pulls away from Tommy.

"I can't Tommy… I'm… I'm engaged" She was looking at the ground when tears started to fill her eyes she wanted Tommy, She wanted Chaz and Mike as well. When she looked up she met with Tommy's eyes filled with passion. Then he started to speak.

"Jude, I don't care. I've waited too long for this and I can't believe you're going to let a prick like…" he cut himself off when he realized what she said **_engaged_**. '_Engaged? Engaged! But to whom? Why?'_ "Wait, what?"

"I'm engaged, To Mike Harris. And well a lot of other things have happened since you've been gone. I…I don't think I can do this now." Jude started to run when Tommy's hand grabbed her arm.

"You weren't at Chaz's on business were you?" When Jude was silent he knew he was right. '_It's not possible, is it. That **my** Jude would fall for some stupid asshole and my enemy. Get a grip Quincy, you dated her sister REMEMBER!' _Tommy felt the anger start to rise in his throat along with tears welling up in his eyes, but he wouldn't let Jude see that. '_I can't believe **my** Jude is having an affair with… wait… she's having an affair_'

"Tommy, earth to Tommy…Say something… your silence… is painful"

"Why are you engaged to that Monkey if you are having an affair with Chaz." Tears started to fall from Jude's eyes but he couldn't stop the words from spilling out of his mouth. "And why are you having an affair with Chaz, well period, but when you still love me"

"Because, HE WAS THERE FOR ME! HE DIDN'T LEAVE ME LIKE SOME PEOPLE" With that Jude got in her car a sped off. Her words hurt Tommy but he'd deal with that later. He decided to go up to Chaz's apartment and ask what the hell had happened.

Chaz had seen everything. From the kiss to Jude pulling away to Jude crying and speeding off. He also saw Tommy coming up to his apartment. So he opened the door, acted like all he saw was the car pulling off, and acted like he wasn't hurt, before Tommy could even knock.

"Come into my humble abode, I'm guessing you're not coming here to say that you've accepted my offer?" Tommy just looked at him and punched him.

"When did this catastrophe between you and Jude happen" Chaz felt no reason to hide anything so he told Tommy everything. Tommy was sitting there in disbelief when Chaz's cell phone rang.

"Hey Honey, What's up"

"Nothing, I just wanted to say I was sorry and see if I could make it up to you tonight."

"umm… Okay but right now I have some business to attend to" Chaz looked at Tommy. Tommy rolled his eyes knowing full well that it was Jude

"Oh, Tell Tommy that we have to be in the studio in like 30 minutes... Can you come down too please"

"Sure will babe" With that Chaz hung up the cell phone and told Tommy to be in the studio in 30 minutes and that he was coming too. And since his car was in the shop he was gonna ride with Tommy. They got in the car and Tommy just looked at Chaz and with a low raspy tone said

"Ok, But I'm letting you and Monkey-boy know that I'm not giving up on Jude. **_WE_** belong together. I haven't waited this long just to watch you or some Monkey take her away from me."

"Tommy, Get over yourself… Remember… **you** left… **You** dated her sister… **YOU** and only you messed up the relationship." Tommy realized he was right and decided to drop the conversation. He silently drove to G major with what he knew now was his biggest competition. He wouldn't let his love for Jude die or vice versa. He was going to make this work. When they finally arrived they found Jude in the studio on the floor crying. They immediately ran over to her.

"Jude! What's wrong?" They both asked

"I…found… Mike… and… Sadie… In bed together... I know I was doing the same thing with you Chaz, but… She's my **sister **first she stole Tommy now Mike. I just, ugh don't know… Then there's… This…" she managed to get out between sobs then she threw down 3 different papers all of which had a picture of Chaz and Jude at his apartment about a week before he left on business. They were in a hot make-out session. The Headlines read things like 'Ex-Boyzattack member with Jude Harrison, and it's not Tommy' 'Where's Tommy to stop this madness' 'Where's her fiancé?'

Just as Tommy was about to say something Mike came running through the door.

"Jude, Sadie just kind of attacked me"

"Oh, yeah and you were just beating her off with a stick weren't you"

"Jude don't be like that please"

"Be like what? You were just having sex with my sister"

"No, I wasn't. We were just kissing"

"What! And that's supposed to make everything better" Chaz chimed in

Tommy turned to Mike and asked

"Oh, Mon—I mean Mike, Can I talk to you for a second"

"No, I need to talk to Jude about this."

"This is about Jude" Jude looks at Tommy with a look of panic in her eyes. Tommy Pulls 'Monkey-boy' off to the side and whispers in is ear.

"Give her some flowers and take her to a nice restaurant. I'll talk to her for you."

"Th…thanks, why… why are you helping me?"

"Jude loves you" Tommy had a plan, a plan to get Jude back forever. "And I want to help you."

Tommy and Mike rejoined Chaz and Jude who had been sitting in an awkward silence trying to listen to Tommy.


	4. It Could Be You

Chapter Two

It Could Be You

"Chaz, I need to talk to you. Can you come here?" Jude beckoned. They went into an empty studio. "Can we cancel our plans for tonight? I don't think that I'm up for it. Plus, I'm probably going to have to work late with Mr. Perfectionist over there" Jude pointed to Tommy.

"Sure anything for you babe" Chaz kissed Jude softly before walking out of the studio.

"Ok Jude we need to start working on those songs. Georgia want two before the night is out." Tommy said pulling Jude back into the studio where she just was

"Okay, okay, I'll talk to you later," she smiled sweetly at Chaz then turned around and glared at Mike "We'll talk about this, this thing later. But until then take this" She slipped off her ring and threw it at Mike. He drove off extremely pissed and Chaz called a cab.

"Tommy I think I got it so Shoo… off to the booth with you," Tommy did as she commanded although very confused "it's called 'That Girl'" As soon as she turned on the microphone she turned, looked at Tommy and started to sing.

"You said you didn't need me, but you did. You said you didn't want me, but you do. It's like a comedy. First you kiss me then you say we're through" All the while her eyes were piercing into Tommy's soul. She just stared at him. He was thinking to himself how much he hurt her. Tommy knew that this song was about him. She continued to sing "I say you've got some issues, Yeah you do Some things you gotta work through, you really do" Tommy whispered to himself a little more loudly than he had intended _I know I do but you're with Chaz and you won't give me a chance_. Jude looked up knowing he said something but continued anyway "It's sorta like a talk show No wait, a freak show when the freak is you I'm the smoke from your fire I'm that lie you can trust I'm a chord on your guitar I'm that girl you can't shut up I'm the blood you might need In your car when you speed In that cigarette you breathe you can't get rid of me" Jude was about to continue but Tommy stopped her.

"Jude, that's great can we record that later on, like tomorrow? Right now I think we should work on another song"

"Okay well get your butt out of there and in here. Get your guitar. You're doing this too." Tommy came out of the booth, grabbed two acoustic guitars, and handed one to Jude while he kept one for himself. Jude started strumming on the guitar, but when Tommy sat down they began working on the music. They decided to let the words just come to them instead of meticulously pawning over them. Jude started to scribble down some words on notebook that she had Tommy did the same. She went over to the booth and pressed the record button. Tommy looked at her confused

"Just in case we come up with something great" Jude declared. Tommy agreed. They put their lyrics together and just began to let it pour out of their mouths. Jude started the first verse "You and me all alone it's too late to say we didn't know We shouldn't be all alone One of us might lose control Of these feelings we've been hiding Deep down they might start to show Not here not now watch my frustrations grow" Jude held out the last note and then Tommy started "If you get any closer then I'm going to have to scream" Jude joined in "I know what I feel and you feel it too" Tommy stopped as Jude continued "I dream of that first kiss and who'll make the first move Who's gonna put their heart on the line" Tommy joined in "It could be me it could be you tonight" Jude stopped and Tommy continued "Show me who you are Stop me before I go too far It hurts to hold back So hold me or I might crack I'm gasoline you're the match I'm not sure if we can handle that We might explode could be a mess" Jude joined him on the last lines "I say we take the chance If we wait a minute longer it could be the death of me" They sang the chorus together again then Jude belted out "I'm mixed up confused And I don't know what to do I want to and I'd love to If I knew you'd want me to I know what I feel and you feel it too ..." Tommy sung by himself the last line of the song "It could be me, it could be you…tonight" Just as they finished the tape clicked off. Jude got up, Tommy thought she was going to the booth but to his surprise she came up to him. She put her hand on his cheek and kissed him uncontrollably. They stopped and Jude spoke

"Tommy…let's…uh…go listen to the playback" Jude walked into the booth still a little disheveled. Tommy followed her as she rewound the tape. She pressed play. They sat there listening to the adoration in each other's voice. He and her booth knew that they meant every word of what they were singing, and about each other. Tommy started to breath heavily. He couldn't stand it anymore; he wanted her and knew she wanted him. She saw the look in his eyes; she couldn't resist him anymore she'd let him come to her.

"Looks like it's gonna be me" Tommy said as he pushed the chair that was separating them out of his way. When he reached Jude he grabbed her and lifted her onto the counter top on which she was previously leaning. They started kissing wildly. It kept leading further. "Are you sure you want to go any further" Jude just looked at him, grabbed his shirt, and pulled him closer to her. She started to kiss his neck then whispered in his ear

"I'm sure Quincy" The night went on; they had fallen asleep in one another's arms on the couch in the recording booth. It was 3 am before either one of them had woken up. Jude woke up first; she looked and saw that Tommy was holding her. Then all of the sudden memories of the previous night came to her in flashes. She went to go get some coffee; she didn't know what to do. All she knew was she wouldn't leave him like he had done to her. While she was out Tommy had woken up. He started talking to himself

"Shit Quincy. This was **_not_** the plan" He stopped and smiled "this is better than the plan. Screw the plan, I have Jude now, I hope." Tommy started looking around trying to find Jude when he started thinking '_did she leave? Where is she?'_ "She didn't regret last night did she?"

"How could I Quincy?" Tommy turned around to see Jude in his shirt standing with two coffee mugs. "I could never regret anything I did with you." She smiled at him, handed him the coffee mug and kissed him on the cheek.

"Jude, about last night. Are you sure you don't regret it?" He inquired while sipping on his coffee

"I'll only regret it if you leave again and we can't be together. Last night I realized that…" Tommy had cut her off with a kiss.

"I love you Jude"

"I love you too Quincy. Just give me some time to break it off with Chaz. It's going to be hard. I've grown close to him over the years."

"We have all the we'll ever need. I'll wait for you until the end of time." Tommy just smacked his forehead and let out a heavy sigh "I didn't just say that did I? 'I'll wait for you until the end of time'" he said mocking himself. Jude jokingly slapped his shoulder.

"Yeah come on, that was so cliché, Lil' Tommy Q. But then again what did I expect from an ex-boybander"

"Oh, God. Don't remind me," Tommy laughed as he and Jude walked into the studio and got dressed "Jude, I love you"

"I love you too Tommy"


	5. 24 Hours

Chapter 3

24 Hours

It was 2 days later and Jude still hadn't broken it off with Chaz. "I've been sitting in the dirt for 24hrs I'd forgotten my own worth for 24hrs Said that you'd be here last night I'm trying to shake you from my skin for 48hrs Clean up this mess I've been put in for 48hrs" Jude was singing '24 Hours' for a mall performance. Afterwards Tommy grabbed Jude by the waist and asked her if she wanted to go for a drive. She said yes so they got into the infamous blue Viper and drove off. Tommy decided to drive to G-major, which was closed down for the night. They were sitting at a stoplight when Tommy turned around and asked Jude

"How do I know that you won't cheat on me?"

"Because I friggin love you"

"I thought that I did. He was to me what Sadie was to you." Jude spat out a little more coldly than she had expected.

"Ouch that was harsh" Tommy said with a hint of sarcasm. They arrived at the G-major parking lot, when Jude said

"But it was the truth" Tommy just sat there in amazement. '_How does she know me better than I know myself_' "I love you Tommy how can I prove that to you?" They got out of the car and went into the building. to looked straight into Jude's eyes and said

"By breaking up with Chaz the next time you see him, immediately."

"Okay the next time I see him I'll break it off with him. You just have to give me some time with him before I do it, okay" Jude was just about to kiss Tommy when Chaz walked in.

"Looks like you'll get your chance" Tommy stated as he looked at Jude who had her head down.

"Okay" she walked over to Chaz and held his hand "Honey. We gotta talk."

"Ummm ok. Those words are never good" Chaz stated blankly. They walked into Studio C. They didn't know Georgia was in there so on some odd impulse she hid.

"All right, I'm just going to put it out there. I'm not going to beat around the bush. We have to break this," she gestures between him and her "off"

"Why?" Chaz asked suspiciously

"I just need some time off, just be alone for awhile."

"Bull—I know why you want out. it's because of Tommy," he scoffed "And no I'm not letting you out of this that easily."

"What! you can't say 'no' when someone's breaking up with you"

"Well I did and we're not done."

"Yes, yes we are!" Jude started to yell

"What's with all the yelling?" Tommy asked as he came into the studio.

"Like you don't already know." Chaz retorted.

"I'm trying to break up with him and he said 'No' and that we weren't through"

"Look Chaz, she doesn't want you now go and leave her alone."

"Nope. She's mine. I'm not giving her up after I just got her from Mike, especially not to the likes of you." Chaz glared at Tommy. So, Tommy went over to Chaz and punched his smug look right off of his face.

"Get over yourself Chaz. She loves me NOT you!"

"Bull--"

"You can't tell Georgia, she'd fire Tommy" Jude cut in

"What's there to tell? We're NOT done." Chaz stated coldly "You're mine and no one else's." Chaz grabbed Jude's wrist and twisted it as he dragged her off. Tommy bolted out after them. He knocked Chaz unconscious and got Jude up off the floor, where she was crying.

"I think he broke my wrist"

"Okay I'll get you to the hospital." They ran into Mike on their way out of the building. Mike grabbed Jude's broken wrist, which made Jude brake down.

"She's mine, back off Tommy Q! If I can't have her no one will!" He tried to drag Jude to his car but Tommy ran and tackled him. They started to fight; the fight lasted a good 5 minutes when Mike finally knocked Tommy out cold. Jude started to cry harder. She got up and tried to tackle Mike but he just turned around and pinned her down on the ground, hard. He started trying to kiss her. Jude screamed fruitlessly (or so she thought) when Mike started trying to rip her clothes off and rape her. He didn't get to far though, because when he was about to tear Jude's top off he heard sirens, police sirens. Two huge cops came bursting through the doors, they grabbed Mike off of Jude. Mike screamed as loud as he could

"WE'RE NOT DONE YET JUDE!" at that point Jude has passed out. The ambulance cam got her, Tommy, Chaz and took them to the hospital. Tommy was the first one up. He was released almost immediately. he asked the doctor where Jude was.

"She's in ICU"

"But why? what happened"

"Well, she suffered a concussion from when Mike pinned her to the ground, she hit her head. Also, temporary amnesia and a few broken bones in her wrist…"

"Well can I see her?"

"I wasn't done"

"Oh my. what else?"

"She's pregnant."

"Wait… what?"

"She's pregnant, with twins."

"She didn't tell me, maybe she doesn't know. Does she know?"

"Well Mr. Quincy I doubt it. The fetuses look about 2 days old"

"Who's the father?" Tommy asked nervously

"We just did a pregnancy test not a paternity test. So we don't know" As the doctor said this Tommy went to go wake Chaz up.

"Chaz we have a problem."

"Wh—What is it?" Chaz said groggily

"It's Jude, she's pregnant"

"What! I'm awake now. You've got to be joking"

"Well I'm not"

"Who's the father?"

"We don't know" They both sighed as the doctor came in

"Ms. Harrison just woke up and is starting to remember things, if you wish to see her you may follow me." The doctor walked out and Tommy followed. Tommy saw Jude bruised up and just waking. He walked over to the bed and kissed her softly on the lips.

"What happened Tommy?" Jude looked at Tommy who was biting his lip and staring at the floor. He explained everything that had happened, but omitted the fact that she was pregnant. "Okay, I get everything else but… who called the cops?"

"Jude, I… I don't know. That's a damn good question."

"I did" They turned to see Georgia standing in the doorway of the hospital room.

"What!" Tommy and Jude said in unison

"But how?" Jude asked

"Screw how, WHEN!" Tommy asked incredulously

"I was in the studio the whole time. Why wouldn't you two tell mw that you loved each other? Jude! I'm surprised at you, You cheated on Mike, with Chaz of all people!" Georgia exclaimed

"Wow Georgia, calm down. Mike cheated on her. WITH SADIE! HER SISTER!"

"Well I'm still shocked. I'm okay with you two, you and Jude that is, dating. we all knew it was going to happen. Hell Kwest, EJ, a few others and I all had bets running"

"Oh. Thanks I feel loved…(he sighs) well who won?" Tommy asked

"Shay" Georgia responded coolly

"SHAY!" Tommy and Jude said clearly shocked

"Yeah, he said last month but he was the closest one so the money goes to him." Before she could continue the came in with Jude's chart and some paperwork.

"So, did Mr. Quincy tell you about the happy news"

"There's happy news? what would that be?" Jude asked

"That you're going to be a mother of twins" Jude jaw dropped and exclaimed

"WHAT!" Jude was still freaking out when Georgia asked who the father was. The doctor said they didn't know and that they could do a paternity test "Then DO IT" Jude commanded

"Okay, it will take a few weeks"

"I don't care, just do it"

It was about a week later and everyone was out of the hospital and fairly all right. Jude and Tommy were working at G major.

"Jude, Babe. Do you wanna move in with me?" Tommy grabbed Jude by the waist and kissed her.

"YES! SURE! can I start moving in after work?" Jude kissed him on the cheek.

"Yup, the sooner the better" They started to kiss when Georgia walked by

"Strictly professional at work" she declared

"Okay," Tommy said then whispered into Jude's ear "No fair. let's play hooky tomorrow"

"okay, that sounds fun" Jude said then kissed Tommy on the cheek "let's get back to work"

The next day Tommy and Jude took the day off. They stayed at home and watched movies, when they weren't too busy with each other. It was around 5:45 pm when they had watched their last movie of the day.

"Jude, babe. we need to get ready for your surprise."

"Won't you just give me a little hint to what it is?" Jude gave Tommy the puppy dog eyes that he normally couldn't resist, but he was staying strong on this one.

"No, you'll see when we get there." Jude sighed as she went upstairs to get dressed. "Be ready by 7. I have to go get things set up."

"What? you're leaving?"

"I'll be here to get you. Don't worry"

"ummm. Ok?" Jude went into her closet to find something suitable to wear. Tommy had said to wear something fancy. She grabbed a beautiful dark blue dress with a plunging V-neck line that tied around her neck. The back was left open while the bottom went up to a little above her knees in a V like pattern. By the time she took a quick shower, put her make-up on, got dressed, and got out the door it was 6:45. She decided to sit outside and wait. It was a gorgeous night. The moon was full, the stars were out, and there was a nice cool breeze blowing. Just as Jude was getting impatient a beautiful white horse pulling a carriage came up to the house. It was just like a fairy tale. Tommy came out of the carriage, went up to Jude and kissed her hand like her prince charming.

"Follow me" Tommy summoned. They got into the carriage which brought the to a secluded pond surrounded by hills and woods. Tommy had a picnic laid out with candles lit near the pond.

"What's this for, it's gorgeous"

"You'll see" They sat down and ate. Some light banter was exchanged. Tommy got up when dinner was finished, Jude followed him to a gazebo. Moonlight reflected off the pond and off of her bright red hair. The night was magical, it was perfect. The gazebo had tons of bouquets of flowers on it. It was quite obvious that it took a lot of time and money to decorate. Jude just stood there taking everything in thinking that everything was beautiful. Tommy was watching her thinking how beautiful _she_ was. '_This is it. This is the perfect moment_' Tommy thought to himself and then spoke aloud. "Jude, we've known each other for 5 years. I know that 3 of which I was gone. but I thought of you every second of every minute of every day of every week of every year…"

"Is there a point to this?"

"Yeah sorry. My point is we've known each other for a while and I know that we've only technically been dating each other exclusively for about a week and a half to two weeks, but I've always loved you and always will. So I was wondering…" Tommy pulled out a tiny black velvet box and got down on one knee. "Would I be so lucky as to have you as my wife?" Jude just stood there for a second absorbing everything when finally she snapped out of it and jumped onto Tommy shouting

"Yea Tommy Quincy I will marry you" Jude started to cry

"Jude why are you crying. Aren't you happy about this?"

"What's wrong?"

"It's just...good things don't happen to me very often. When they do, I get scared."

"Nothing bad is gonna happen. Promise."

"For once in my life I feel truly happy like nothing could go wrong"

"good" Tommy took the ring out of the box and slipped onto Jude's finger. "This will last forever, I'm not a stupid kid going crazy on tour. I want to be with you for the rest of my life. I love you Jude Harrison. Or I should say, soon-to-be Mrs. Jude Quincy."

"So when can we tell everybody?"

"When ever you want to."

"Well I'm gonna tell Kat as soon as possible"

"Of course, then she'll tell Jamie"

"Yup. Mr. and Mrs. Jamie Andrew. Who would've thought… Kat Andrews."

"Yea that was a shock to me too. But considering she got knocked up with his kid at 17 it was sort of expected."

"Their wedding was beautiful"

"ours will be too."

"Oh god, this is just so stunning. The ring…everything"

"Just Like you" Jude chuckled "Well it's time to go girl".

"Okay Tommy, I'll be right there I have to go get my jacket" Jude went back to the place where they had the picnic. She looked down and saw a piece of paper, and picked it up thinking nothing of it. Thinking she or Tommy had dropped she brought it back to the carriage where Tommy was waiting for her. "Here Tommy you dropped this." she handed him the paper. Tommy knew that he didn't drop it but he opened it anyway. His eyes grew wide and then he hid it in his jacket pocket. Jude looked at him curiously "What is it?"

"Nothing just something that I forgot." Tommy shifted in his seat uncomfortably. Jude knew de was lying.

"Tommy I can see right through you. What is it?"

"Nothing"

"Tommy" Jude said sternly while trying to wrestle it away from him when he finally caved and handed her the note which read '**Jude, you will NOT get away from me that easily. I don't care who you think you are with or who that baby's father is. You and it are MINE! We are NOT through. I will have you. Signed, **

**Your Lover**

Jude dropped the note and started to panic. Tommy held her tight and comforted her. When they arrived at the house there was a note taped to the door with a crumpled black rose. This note was in the same handwriting as the one that was left at the park. This one said '**When this rose is my heart you too shall wither away into nothing. Signed, Your Lover**'

"Oh my god… who… what?" Jude was finally able to get out. They went upstairs to get ready for bed.

"It's either Mike or Chaz"

"I think it's Chaz. The note at the park said something about me being pregnant. Mike doesn't know about that. plus, Mike would do something else." Jude responded "I don't know I'm just so afraid"

"I know, it's okay. I'm here to protect you." They snuggled into bed together with Tommy's arms wrapped tightly around Jude. It took a while foe either one of them to get to sleep, but they finally did.


	6. Everybody's Fool

Chapter 4

Everybody's Fool

It was about 6 am when Tommy woke up. He saw Jude sleeping and couldn't bear to wake her up. Tommy got out of bed and went to take a shower. While turning on the water Jude woke up and climbed in with him when there was a knock on the door. Jude got out and opened the door to find Georgia standing there with a note and a crumpled black rose in her hand. She had a worried look on her face.

"Georgia… What are you doing here?" Georgia didn't say anything she just pushed past Jude and handed her the note. It was the same note that was left on her door last night.

"Tommy I think you better come down here" Georgia yelled

"Georgia! what are you doing here?" Tommy questioned while walking down the stairs. When he saw Jude lying down on the floor he broke into a run.

"She passed out when she saw this" Georgia grabbed the note out of Jude's limp hand and handed it to Tommy.

"This is the 3rd note that this psycho has left."

"you need to report this to the police"

"Okay" he picked up the phone and dialed 911. a few minutes later the police arrived with an ambulance. The EMTs picked up Jude, and the cops got the 2 roses and the 3 notes.

"All right, Mr. Quincy and Ms. Beavans. if you would follow us down to the precinct we will take your statements" One of the cops said.

"What about Jude?" Tommy questioned

"We'll take her statement when she wakes up" Tommy and Georgia got into the Viper and drove to the police station. They gave their statements then went to the hospital to find Jude. She had woken up and the doctors said that she could leave. All that had happened was she had a panic attack, hyperventilated, then passed out. Tommy dropped Georgia off at his apartment so she could get her car. Then they went to the studio. When they walked in they were shocked by what the found. Bouquets of blacks roses, petals scattered on the ground all with the same thing on the card, '**You're eternally MINE Your Lover**' Tommy told one of the members of the custodial staff to get all of this cleaned up. Then he and Georgia went to the police station with pictures they had taken of the scene. Jude was sitting in the studio all alone when out of nowhere something came blasting over the speakers…

"perfect by nature icons of self indulgence just what we all need more lies about a world that never was and never will be have you no shame don't you see me  
you know you've got everybody fooled look here she comes now bow down and stare in wonder oh how we love you no flaws when you're pretending but now I know she  
never was and never will be you don't know how you've betrayed me and somehow you've got everybody fooled without the mask where will you hide can't find yourself lost in your lie I know the truth now I know who you are and I don't love you anymore it never was and never will be you don't know how you've betrayed me  
and somehow you've got everybody fooled it never was and never will be you're not real and you can't save me somehow now you're everybody's fool" The song ended and a deep voice came over the PA system "That was for **_my_** lovely Jude Harrison." Then the song played again on loop. All of the lights went out yet the song still played. Jude walked into an empty studio and closed the door. Then a light turned on in the booth of the studio, there was a dark shadowy figure standing in the doorway.

"Hello Lover. Did you like the roses?"

"Who are you?"

"Oh, honey you should know." The figure walked slowly towards Jude had been backed into a corner.

"What do you want?" Jude stuttered

"Only you" the figure stated icily "And **_my_** baby"

"It's my baby and I don't know who the father is."

"Because you're a slut"

"No I'm not"

"you're right. You're a whore."

"Then why do you want me?"

"Cause you're **_my_** whore." The figure then grabbed Jude and pinned her against the wall. When Jude tried to fight back the figure beat her. Jude and the figure heard the door open. Jude was about to scream but the figure hit her again and ran off. The song was turned off and all the lights came on. Jude was still backed into the corner crying when the studio doors opened. It was Tommy.

"Oh my God, Jude! what happened!"

"H-h-he was here" Jude stammered out between sobs

"Who was it? Did you get a good look at him?"

"I don't know. and no I didn't"

"well let's get you out of here." Tommy picked up Jude and carried her to his car. "let's get you back to the hospital."

"No, I don't want to. You can take care of me"

"Okay, You get some rest" Jude fell asleep in the car so Tommy got her out of the car, carried her to their room, and laid her down on the bed. He decided to call Georgia to tell her what happened.

"Okay, that settles it. We're putting extra security in the building from now on. And are you going to call the cops and let them know?"

"Can you do that for me."

"Of course. Just make sure Jude is okay and that she gets some rest. Neither of you have to come in until all of the settles down."

"Okay, thank you so much Georgia." They hung up and Tommy went upstairs. He saw Jude sleeping restlessly. She shot up in the bed screaming and sweating. Tommy jumped onto the bed and held her tight in his arms. His soft soothing voice was calming her "shhh… It will be all right. Shhhh. it's okay" Tommy cooed. She fell asleep quietly in his arms, the only place she felt safe.


	7. Sooner or Later

Chapter 5

Sooner or Later

Jude woke up to the sound of the phone ringing. She scrambled around to find the phone. When she found it the person had hung up. Jude went to check caller ID it said **Private Name Private Number**

"Must've been a wrong number." Jude said to herself. She went upstairs to find Tommy still asleep. He was so serene. His eyes fluttered open.

"Good Morn--" the phone ringing cut off Tommy mid-sentence. Jude answered it. –Silence- right when Jude was about to hang up that same low raspy voice from the night before came over the phone.

"If you want to keep you precious Tommy safe, come down to pier 8. Without anyone. Don't tell anybody about what's going on. Nod your head if you understand." Jude nodded her head

"Ok, see you there Kat" Jude decided to use a cover up story, Kat was her best bet at the moment. She hung up the phone. "Hey Tommy, I'm uh ummm going to the mall with Kat."

"I don't think that's such a great idea."

"I'll be fine I promise. Jamie is going to come with us."

"Yeah, like he can protect you." Jude just glared at Tommy "Look this psycho attacked you where you work, what makes you think he won't attack you when you're at the mall?"

"Look I'll be fine."

Tommy sighed.

"Ok I give… Just be careful and take your cell phone"

"Great I'll talk to you later babe. I love you." Jude kissed Tommy like she would never see him again. Before Tommy could say anything she picked up her keys and left. Jude drove until she was at the pier. Once she was there; she sat on top of her car feeling more and more nervous. She sat until she heard someone drive up. It was a white unmarked van. Jude just got a sick feeling. The doors to the van opened. Someone wearing a mask and all black clothing grabbed Jude. She fought back with everything she had. All of her energy was gone. There were 3 thugs inside of the van and the driver.

"What should we do with her" A familiar but implacable voice shouted

"This" The 2nd thug knocked Jude out.

Back at Tommy's place the phone rang. It was the doctor.

"Mr. Quincy, Is Jude Harrison there?"

"No, she isn't. Why?"

"Well I guess I can tell you. The paternity tests came back."

"REALLY! Who's are they?"

"At first they came back inconclusive. So we sent it in for a 2nd time. Before I tell you I think that you should sit down."

"Okay," Tommy moves over to the couch "I'm sitting"

"Mr. Quincy, You're going to be a father."

"Really!"

"Yes Mr. Quincy you are the father to Miss Harrison's children."

"Oh My God! This is wonderful news. I'm going to call Jude right now. Thank you so much Dr. Lennon." Tommy hung up and dialed Jude's cell phone number. It went directly to voice mail. So he called Kat's cell phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey Kat."

"Tommy?"

"Yeah, Jude has her cell phone off. Can you hand yours to her? I need to tell her something."

"Umm, I would but she's not here."

"Ok? I'll call Jamie then."

"He's here with me. We haven't talked to Jude since yesterday. Oh by the way, Congratulations on the engagement."

"Thanks, but I have to go." He hung up the phone. '_Where is she?_' he thought "**Chaz!**" he thought out loud. He quickly jumped into his Viper and drove over to Chaz's. BOOM! BOOM! Tommy pounded on the door. Just when he was about to break it down Chaz answered "WHERE IS SHE" Tommy said shoving his way into Chaz's apartment.

"Huh? Where is who?"

"Quit playing dumb with me man. Wait… you're not playing" a smug look came across Tommy's face

"What? Come on… what's going on I really have no clue."

"Where's Jude!"

"Ummm the studio?" Chaz said with genuine confusion.

"I know she's here!"

"I honestly haven't seen her since the day she broke it off with me. Yeah, sorry about that I went a little crazy. I had been drinking and just not a good day. By the way have you found out who the babies' father is?"

"Whoa, did you even take a breath there?" Tommy shook his head "First off, are you sure because if I find out that she was here all along I will be so pissed at you. Secondly, It's ok. Thirdly, I am."

"Yeah I'm positive, and Congrats man. Treat her right."

"Okay, well I guess I'll talk to you later. Sorry about this, barging in here and all."

"Nah it's alright. Jude has that effect on people."

"Something's wrong. I know it." Tommy left Chaz's apartment and got back into his Viper. He drove until he reached the Harrison household. Tommy knocked on the door and Sadie answered.

"Hey Tommy" Sadie said with a seductive voice, leaning on the door frame the sexiest way she could.

"Sadie I'm not in the mood for your crap. I love Jude! NOT YOU! This was a mistake coming here." he turned around to leave when Ms. Victoria Harrison, Jude and Sadie's mother, came down the stairs.

"Tommy?" She came to the front door and Sadie straightened herself out.

"Oh thank god. Ms. Harrison. Have you seen or heard from Jude?"

"No, why?"

"She's missing."

"WHAT!"

"She left saying she was going to go hang out with Kat and Jamie but they haven't talked to her since yesterday. I looked at Chaz's and the studio but she's not there either. I think something bad might've happened to her."

Ms. Harrison looked at a very flustered and concerned Tommy. He had made that whole entire speech without one pause. Victoria went into mother mode when it click the Jude was missing.

"Oh my god. It will be okay. Jude is strong. It will be okay." Victoria rubbed Tommy's back.

"No, it's my fault. I should've gone with her. I should have…"

"Look it's not your fault. You know how stubborn Jude is. Either way she would've done whatever she was going to do."

"But…she's… with… my…" Tommy's head was rushing, he couldn't make a coherent sentence if he had tried.

"Tom. Are you okay? You look a little pale. And what were you saying?"

"I'm fine. But Jude…she…"

"Breath Tom. Breath… collect your thoughts then speak." Tommy took a moment then spoke slowly.

"I just got the call from Dr. Lennon today. Jude's twins… they're mine."

"That's great."

"Yeah but I was going to tell Jude but now I can't find her."


	8. Touniquet

Chapter 6

Tourniquet

When Jude woke up she was in an abandoned department store. There was a scent of mothballs and mold in the air. Jude tried to get up but she found herself tied to a chair. She tried to break free of her restraints but it was pointless. Her head was killing her. It was pounding like something had been locked inside and was trying to break down the wall that she called her skull.

The 3 thugs walked into the room to see Jude awake and struggling.

"Looks like the whore is awake." The 2nd thug stated

"Shut up man" The 1st thug punched the 2nd one.

"Who are you and want do you want with me?" Jude stuttered through the pounding in her head.

"Well for arguments state you can call me 'Paul', him 'Ringo'," he pointed to the 2nd thug and pointing to the 1st thug "And him John."

"The Beatles?"

"They are obviously not our real names." A tall, athletically built man walked into the room "And him, you can call 'George'." Under any other circumstances and if she could see his face, she would call him hot. They were all wearing masks.

"So **_my_** sleeping beauty has awoken." 'George' went over to where the rest of 'the Beatles' were standing. " 'Ringo' go and get our… supplies from the van. 'Paul' replace her bandages. 'John' you know what to do." All three walked off and did their assigned jobs. 'Paul' walked over to Jude.

"What bandages?" Jude looked down to see that she was bleeding. She felt blood on her face and started to worry.

"When 'Ringo' over there knocked you out you hit the corner of our command center of sorts. You have a deep gash on your head."

"But my stomach is bleeding too, why."

"Many reasons, now shut up so I can change your bandages."

"No!"

"YES!" 'Paul' hit Jude "Now will you shut up." Jude nodded. 'Paul' changed the bandages and left. Jude started to feel dizzy and sick.

"OW! AHH!" Jude screamed as she felt as sharp pain in her stomach. She winced in pain and accidentally tipped her chair over and fell onto the floor. 'Ringo' came running up the stairs with a camcorder, microphones, wires, and speakers. When he saw Jude on the floor screaming and called 'George'.

"Man, she's screaming really loud and complaining and dude she's bleeding."

"So, call 'Paul' to put more bandages on her, she can deal."

"Dude, I don't think that's a good idea."

"Well I'm not paying you to think. Get everything set up to start recording. This can help us."

"But—…"

"But nothing! DO AS I SAY NOW!"

"Whatever." 'Ringo' got the camera set up and did as 'George' said "Let me know when to start recording."

"Okay as soon as everyone gets up here we'll start." 'George' went to Jude and started running his fingers through her hair.

"Can't you just let me go? What do you want? I'll do anything."

"You've done enough. And no I'll not let you go. you're mine now. We'll just wait for your knight in the shining blue Viper."

"You can't bring Tommy into this!"

"Too late. You involved him when you choose him over me."

"Who are you?"

"You'll soon find out" He put a black crumpled rose into her hair and left. 'Paul' came up the stairs with bandages and gauze. He cleaned Jude's wounds. There was something so familiar, so fatherly about his touch. That's when it clicked in Jude's head.

"D—Dad?"

"It's ok, honey, I'm here." he realized he slipped up and hit his forehead then continued what he was doing.

"What? Why?" Jude started crying.

"You'll see in time. I'm here to make sure you don't get hurt."

"Too late Stuart."

"Call me Dad, please."

"I have no father, he's dead to me."

"OK START TAPING!" 'George' yelled

Back at the Harrison house Tommy was frantic. Victoria had suggested that Tommy go back to his and Jude's house in case she came back.

"I don't want to go alone. I'll go insane."

"I'll go with you." Sadie perked up. Tommy and Victoria at the same time said

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"I'll call Kwest." Tommy pulled out his cell and called him. He told Kwest the whole story.

"Okay, I'll be at your house in like 10 minutes." Tommy got into his car and drove to his house. Kwest was already there. They went the front porch to find an unmarked package. Kwest pulled out his cell and called the police. A few minutes later the police arrived with a bomb squad, not knowing what the package was. The police opened the package to find a taped labeled "Instant Fairy-tale" They popped it into the VCR.

"Oh my god!" Tommy yelled. The tape showed Jude sitting in a chair bound in gagged. She was bleeding. Then 'George' came onto the screen.

"Hello, as you can see we have Jude. We don't want money. The only thing we want is Tommy to come down to pier 8. You will pay for taking her from me." Then 'George' bent down to pick something up. When he did Tommy saw a very familiar looking ring. He couldn't place it though. "I will contact you later, on the time and date which we shall meet." 'George' pulled off Jude's gag, she screamed, and he hit her. Then he lifted his mask just enough and bent down and kissed her. Tommy was infuriated. He knew he recognized this guy, and that it wasn't just some crazed fan. "Oh yeah, make sure you bring a priest." The tape ended and it went to static. The police rushed the tape to the detective assigned to Jude's case.


	9. Angel's Punishment

Chapter 7

Angel's Punishment

Jude was awoken to the sound of a car alarm. She could tell that she was in the downtown part of the city. Everything was torn and tattered, old moldy ceilings. She looked out the windows and saw that most of the buildings had been torn down.

Where she was being held captive the walls were very bleak. They looked like they should've been placed in a clinic. Two of the walls were off white, the other two were a pale green. The ceiling was a bright white. Jude started to wonder where the hell she was and if she was ever going to see home.

Stuart walked into the room and saw her staring off into space.

"Honey I'm so sorry but this was the only way we could show you that Tommy doesn't love you."

"Don't even talk to me **_dad_**" Sarcasm dripped like poison from her mouth when she said dad. "You helped KIDNAP ME! AND WHO THE HELL IS 'WE'?"

"You mean are."

"NO I MEAN IS!"

"I can't tell you."

"STUART HARRISON TELL ME NOW! You know what, I should've known it was you especially with all of those damn Beatles references."

"You'll see in due time, and yea of course that was my idea."

"Please tell me."

"Ok Well The first thug is—…" 'George' who walked in cut off Stuart

"Blindfold her." He commanded

"But…"

"But NOTHING! DO IT!" Stuart complied with 'George's demands.

A few days later at the detectives office Tommy was going crazy. They watched the tape over and over again. When Tommy realized something. 'Paul' sounded like Stuart, Jude's father.

"OFFICER! I know who one of the kidnappers is… Stuart Harrison."

"Her father? Are you sure?"

"YES! As sure as my name is Thomas Quincy."

"Okay, we'll send someone to pick him up for questioning." A few hours later two officers came back with Stuart in handcuffs. He had confessed to being involved with Jude's kidnapping but not who anyone else was or who the leader was.

"What took so long?"

"He ran, Mr. Quincy." An hour and a half later Mr. Harrison told the police where to search for Jude. When the arrived at the old department store they found a note. '**_No one will take her away from me. NO ONE!_**' They also found Jude's engagement ring on the ground, the one that Tommy had given her a few nights before. When they told Tommy the news, he broke down crying. Then he barged into the jail where Stuart was being held.

"WHERE DID HE TAKE HER! WHO ARE YOU UNDER ORDERS FROM! TELL ME!"

"No," Stuart said calmly "I wouldn't tell you if I had to. We did this so she can see how wrong you are for her." When Tommy was about to yell his cell phone rang. It was Chaz.

"Tommy?" Chaz sounded exasperated.

"Yeah?"

"I think I know who took Jude, but I'm not sure."

"Well come down to the police station and watch the tape to see if it confirms anything."

"okay" Chaz jumped into his car and sped off to the police station. When he got there Tommy was waiting for him. Without saying anything they went into the station and watched the video. Chaz stood up and hit his fist on the table causing Tommy to jump.

"IT'S MIKE!"

"Huh?"

"The notes- EVERYTHING! That's the ring he gave to Jude, their old engagement ring, the one she gave back to him."

"I knew that ring looked familiar. Are you absolutely sure?"

"YES!"

At the same time Jude was making the same discovery.

"MIKE!"

"Yes honey, you're mine. Your blue eyed Prince isn't saving you."

"This isn't the way to get me back."

"This will." Mike tied Jude down and started to rape her. When the police arrived. They were called in on a 'disturbing the peace' charge but when no one answered the door and they heard screaming they had probable cause to think something more was happening. They grabbed Mike off Jude and dragged him to the police station.


	10. Boulevard of Broken Dreams

Chapter 10

Wake Me Up When September Ends

The next morning Tommy woke up and went to Jude's journal. He decided to take a more careful look; he flipped to a random page and read. It sent chills up his spine just then Jude came up to him and grabbed the book from his hands

"Wanna hear it?"

"Sure" Tommy said still unsure if she was okay

"Well here goes nothing, it's called 'Holy Water'

'_Somewhere there's a stolen halo_

_I use to watch her wear it well_

_Everything would shine wherever she would go_

_But looking at her now you'd never tell_

_Someone ran away with her innocence_

_A memory she can't get out of her head_

_I can only imagine what she's feeling_

_When she's praying_

_Kneeling at the edge of her bed_

_And she says take me away_

_And take me farther_

_Surround me now_

_And hold, hold, hold me like holy water_

_Holy water_

_She wants someone to call her angel_

_Someone to put the light back in her eyes_

_She's looking through the faces_

_The unfamiliar places_

_She needs someone to hear her when she crys_

_And she says take me away_

_And take me farther_

_Surround me now_

_And hold, hold, hold me like holy water_

_Holy water_

_She just needs a little help_

_To wash away the pain she's felt_

_She wants to feel the healing hands_

_Of someone who understands_

_And she says take me away_

_And take me farther_

_Surround me now_

_And hold, hold, hold me_

_And she says take me away_

_And take me farther_

_Surround me now_

_And hold, hold, hold me like holy water_

_Holy water'_

By the time she was done a tear rolled from her eye. Then she looked at Tommy who looked as if he had seen a ghost. Jude turned the page and said

"I have another one, it's called 'Wake Me Up When September Ends'"

Jude again sat with guitar in hand and sang

'_Summer has come and passed  
The innocent can never last  
Wake me up when September ends_

_Like my father's come to pass  
Seven years has gone so fast  
Wake me up when September ends_

_Here comes the rain again  
Falling from the stars_

_Drenched in my pain again  
Becoming who we are_

_As my memory rests  
But never forgets what I lost_

_Wake me up when September ends _

_Summer has come and passed  
The innocent can never last   
Wake me up when September ends_

_Ring out the bells again   
Like we did when spring began_

_Wake me up when September ends_

_Here comes the rain again  
Falling from the stars_

_Drenched in my pain again  
Becoming who we are_

_As my memory rests  
But never forgets what I lost_

_Wake me up when September ends_

_Summer has come and passed  
The innocent can never last  
Wake me up when September ends_

_Like my father's come to pass  
Twenty years has gone so fast  
Wake me up when September ends_

_Wake me up when September ends  
Wake me up when September ends_'

Tommy looked at Jude who was crying. He didn't know what to do or say so he just hugged her, and held her tight.

"I'm so sorry Tommy."

"It's okay. Just don't leave me, I couldn't live without you." Tommy's cell phone rang. It was EJ.

"Tommy we have some major damage control to do. The press snagged a pic of Jude on a bridge, get to the studio now."

"No I can't leave Jude alone."

Jude spoke up "no I'll be fine go."

"Are you sure?"

"Yea"

"Ok EJ I'll be there but this better not take more than an hour." Tommy got in his car and left. Jude was sitting there in the same position she'd been in for about a half hour. She took a pen and decided to write something new.

'_Of all the things I've believed in I just want to Get it over with Tears form behind my eyes But I do not cry Counting the days That pass me by I've been searching Deep down in my soul Words that I'm hearing Are starting to get old It feels like I'm starting all over again The last three years Were just pretend And I said Goodbye to you Goodbye to everything I thought I knew You were the one I loved The one thing that I tried to hold on to I used to get lost in your eyes And it seems that I can't live a day without you Closing my eyes and You chase my thoughts away To a place where I am blinded by the light But it's not right Goodbye to you Goodbye to everything I thought I knew You were the one I loved The one thing that I tried to hold on to And it hurts to want everything And nothing at the same time I want what's yours And I want what's mine I want you But I'm not giving in this time Goodbye to you Goodbye to everything I thought I knew You were the one I loved The one thing that I tried to hold on to The one thing that I tried to hold on to And when the stars fall I will lie awake You're my shooting star_'

Jude got up and went to the bathroom. She looked at the half empty bottle of pills, she took the cap off and poured the contents into her mouth. The cup on the counter was dirty so she went into the liquor cabinet like she had done numerous nights before.


	11. Nightmare

Chapter 9

Nightmare

Over the weeks Jude had become cold, callous, untrusting, and began feeling inferior to everyone. she decided to write she took out a pencil and her journal then put words to paper.

'**Don't know why I feel the way I do. I know you love me and I love you. Just don't feel like myself anymore. I know that I'm such a whore. Feeling like I'm living someone else's life. I will be released upon the edge of a knife. Seeing everything playing on the silver screen. Don't believe in anything that I've seen. My life isn't mine and I'm not me. Won't you ever just let me be? My self worth has dropped. And now it can't be stopped. Didn't know you cut so deep but I guess every rose has its thorn. Can't you see the storm brewing in my eyes? I've turned to ice. Feeling like the worthless whore I am. And no one gives a damn. Please just let me jump off the edge. You pushed me there so why should you care?**'

Jude threw her journal across the room and collapsed on her bed. After a few minutes of crying she got up, went to the bathroom, got her prescription of Valium, and took two. She then followed it with about a half a bottle of vodka. Jude stumbled onto the couch and fell asleep. Tommy came in, picked her up off the couch, and carried her into their bedroom.

A few days passed by and this became a ritual; Jude would write something, take some pills and alcohol, and pass out. Tommy thought that she was just exhausted but something caught his attention. Her journal was lying open on the bed, so he started reading. He turned page after page seeing all of her emotions spilt out in ink across the page not only was he surprised that she held all of this in, especially from him, but he was shocked that she even felt this way. Tommy came to one part of the book that he found most peculiar, it had pictures of her in it. The pictures were scratched out and torn up. He closed the book and put it exactly where he had found it to begin with, near a very 'exhausted' Jude. Then he started to think how odd it was that she was sleeping all the time, he thought something that he didn't like. He went into the bathroom and checked the medicine cabinet; he saw what he had feared. There were way too few pills; she had been O.D.ing on Valium. He went to the liquor cabinet and saw that most of the alcohol was gone. Tommy ran upstairs as fast as he could to confront Jude, but when he got there she was gone. Her window was open and the pages of her journal were blowing in the breeze. He looked to see an extremely new entry

'**Dear Tommy,**

**I'm sorry. I love you so very much. I can't stand to see the way you look at me like a victim. But I'm not, I brought all of this upon myself. Again I'm sorry and I love you. I will no longer be a burden on you or anyone else. This is my last entry. I love you and goodbye.**

**Forever Yours,**

** Jude**

**P.S. Sadie, you can have him. I know that you gave Mike the idea. I overheard him talking and he said numerous times that you helped. This is my entire fault though. And mom, I love you and I'm sorry**

As soon as Tommy read this he leapt into his Viper and sped off again. He knew where she would be. Racing to the park her words ran through his mind '_Sadie was involved, how could she?_' When he got to the park he ran to the bridge. It was a beautiful sight. There were waterfalls and hills, gorgeous scenes of blues and greens. This was Jude's favorite spot then he saw her like an angel about to be carried to heaven by a beam of light. Her beauty entranced Tommy but then he heard her singing a new song (A/N song is originally by Alice In Chains)

_We chase misprinted lies  
We face the path of time  
And yet I fight  
And yet I fight  
This battle all alone  
No one to cry to  
No place to call home_

_Oooh...Oooh...  
Oooh...Oooh...  
_

_My gift of self is raped  
My privacy is raked  
And yet I find  
And yet I find  
Repeating in my head  
If I can't be my own  
I'd feel better dead_

_Oooh...Oooh...  
Oooh...Oooh..._

He knew then that she was going to jump. Just when one foot left the edge her ran to her and caught her. She hit him, slapped him, and kicked at him, but he just held on tighter. After a few minutes she began to cave and give into the hug. She broke down crying into Tommy's shoulder. He lifted her up and carried her to his car. She fell asleep from crying so hard. Tommy put her in the bed and fell asleep beside her.


	12. Wake Me Up When September Ends

Chapter 10

Wake Me Up When September Ends

The next morning Tommy woke up and went to Jude's journal. He decided to take a more careful look; he flipped to a random page and read. It sent chills up his spine just then Jude came up to him and grabbed the book from his hands

"Wanna hear it?"

"Sure" Tommy said still unsure if she was okay

"Well here goes nothing, it's called 'Holy Water'

'_Somewhere there's a stolen halo_

_I use to watch her wear it well_

_Everything would shine wherever she would go_

_But looking at her now you'd never tell_

_Someone ran away with her innocence_

_A memory she can't get out of her head_

_I can only imagine what she's feeling_

_When she's praying_

_Kneeling at the edge of her bed_

_And she says take me away_

_And take me farther_

_Surround me now_

_And hold, hold, hold me like holy water_

_Holy water_

_She wants someone to call her angel_

_Someone to put the light back in her eyes_

_She's looking through the faces_

_The unfamiliar places_

_She needs someone to hear her when she crys_

_And she says take me away_

_And take me farther_

_Surround me now_

_And hold, hold, hold me like holy water_

_Holy water_

_She just needs a little help_

_To wash away the pain she's felt_

_She wants to feel the healing hands_

_Of someone who understands_

_And she says take me away_

_And take me farther_

_Surround me now_

_And hold, hold, hold me_

_And she says take me away_

_And take me farther_

_Surround me now_

_And hold, hold, hold me like holy water_

_Holy water'_

By the time she was done a tear rolled from her eye. Then she looked at Tommy who looked as if he had seen a ghost. Jude turned the page and said

"I have another one, it's called 'Wake Me Up When September Ends'"

Jude again sat with guitar in hand and sang

'_Summer has come and passed  
The innocent can never last  
Wake me up when September ends_

_Like my father's come to pass  
Seven years has gone so fast  
Wake me up when September ends_

_Here comes the rain again  
Falling from the stars_

_Drenched in my pain again  
Becoming who we are_

_As my memory rests  
But never forgets what I lost_

_Wake me up when September ends _

_Summer has come and passed  
The innocent can never last   
Wake me up when September ends_

_Ring out the bells again   
Like we did when spring began_

_Wake me up when September ends_

_Here comes the rain again  
Falling from the stars_

_Drenched in my pain again  
Becoming who we are_

_As my memory rests  
But never forgets what I lost_

_Wake me up when September ends_

_Summer has come and passed  
The innocent can never last  
Wake me up when September ends_

_Like my father's come to pass  
Twenty years has gone so fast  
Wake me up when September ends_

_Wake me up when September ends  
Wake me up when September ends_'

Tommy looked at Jude who was crying. He didn't know what to do or say so he just hugged her, and held her tight.

"I'm so sorry Tommy."

"It's okay. Just don't leave me, I couldn't live without you." Tommy's cell phone rang. It was EJ.

"Tommy we have some major damage control to do. The press snagged a pic of Jude on a bridge, get to the studio now."

"No I can't leave Jude alone."

Jude spoke up "no I'll be fine go."

"Are you sure?"

"Yea"

"Ok EJ I'll be there but this better not take more than an hour." Tommy got in his car and left. Jude was sitting there in the same position she'd been in for about a half hour. She took a pen and decided to write something new.

'_Of all the things I've believed in I just want to Get it over with Tears form behind my eyes But I do not cry Counting the days That pass me by I've been searching Deep down in my soul Words that I'm hearing Are starting to get old It feels like I'm starting all over again The last three years Were just pretend And I said Goodbye to you Goodbye to everything I thought I knew You were the one I loved The one thing that I tried to hold on to I used to get lost in your eyes And it seems that I can't live a day without you Closing my eyes and You chase my thoughts away To a place where I am blinded by the light But it's not right Goodbye to you Goodbye to everything I thought I knew You were the one I loved The one thing that I tried to hold on to And it hurts to want everything And nothing at the same time I want what's yours And I want what's mine I want you But I'm not giving in this time Goodbye to you Goodbye to everything I thought I knew You were the one I loved The one thing that I tried to hold on to The one thing that I tried to hold on to And when the stars fall I will lie awake You're my shooting star_'

Jude got up and went to the bathroom. She looked at the half empty bottle of pills, she took the cap off and poured the contents into her mouth. The cup on the counter was dirty so she went into the liquor cabinet like she had done numerous nights before.


	13. Broken

Chapter 11

Broken

Tommy came home to see Jude lying down on the floor, the empty bottle of pills lying beside her on the floor. He immediately called 911. They rushed her into the emergency room to pump her stomach. A few hours and many beads of sweat later Jude was stable. The doctors came out to talk to Tommy who had been in the waiting room worrying.

"Mr. Quincy, Jude is stable now. But she's going to have to stop drinking. There were many tears in her liver. Also, we think that she's been mixing alcohol and prescription drugs for some time now."

"Ok, thank you so much sir. When can I go in to see her?"

"Well, I'm not sure but we're going to admit her into a psychiatric facility for a little while, so she doesn't try to kill herself again."

"All right. Thank you." The doctor went back into his office. Tommy went outside and turned on his cell phone. He called Shay.

"Shay can you help me out?"

"Tommy? Yea, sure. What do you want me to do?"

"Come by the hospital and get the keys to my house, and I'll tell you why when you get here."

"Ok, I'll be there in a few." Shay arrived at the hospital where Tommy was waiting. "I'm here, now what. Wait why are we at the hospital?"

"I'll tell you later but right now I really need you to do something for me, well for Jude but… can you just help?"

"Sure."

"I want you to go into my house and dispose of all of the alcohol in the house, which includes all medicines that contain any alcohol, no matter the percentage. I also want you to get all of her prescriptions and throw them away, like far away."

"Ok, I will." Tommy handed Shay the key to his house and Shay drove off. When Shay arrived at the house he let out a gasp. "Damn this is bigger than I had expected." He walked up to the door, put the key in the lock, and went inside. Shay looked around a little before he saw the object of his supposed disposal. He was going to drink, and have a hell of a good time doing it. When he opened the liquor cabinet he saw many empty bottles. He started looking for the Rum, his favorite. His hands came upon a bottle of Bacardi, which to his dismay was empty. He pulled out his cell phone and dialed Tommy's number.

"Shay? What's wrong?"

"Nothing but, Why is the rum gone?"

"Damn you really are Jack Sparrow aren't you?"

"WHY IS THE RUM GONE?"

"Just get rid of the bottles and everything."

"Ugh-whatever, I still wanna know why the rum is gone."

Tommy went back into the hospital. Dr. Lennon took him into his office to talk to him privately.

"Mr. Quincy…"

"I've been here enough, you can call me Tommy, or Tom."

"Ok Tom, I brought you here to give you these." He handed Tommy brochures on different rehab centers and psychiatrists. Tommy looked them over.

"Ummm… I'll talk to Jude about this when she wakes up."

"Ok but she has to go get help this time, you can't let her convince you she doesn't need it. She does and this is for her own good."

"Alright, thank you Dr. Lennon."

"Can you get Victoria … I mean Ms. Harrison in here?"

"Sure" Tommy walked out of the office and told Victoria to go in. He went into Jude's room where she was just waking. "Jude, sweetie, how are you?" Jude didn't say anything she just sat there silent. "Jude…"

_I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh  
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away  
I keep your photograph and I know it serves me well  
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain_

"Oh sorry Tommy, I'm fine"

'_Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome  
And I don't feel right when you're gone away_

_You've gone away, you don't feel me, anymore_

"Bull"

"Ok, I'm not fine but I will be."

_  
The worst is over now and we can breathe again  
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away  
There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight  
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain  
_

"Jude we need to pick out a rehab center for you."

"What!"

"Jude it's for your own good!"

"Whatever."

'_Cause I'm broken when I'm open  
And I don't feel like I am strong enough  
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome  
And I don't feel right when you're gone away_

_'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome  
And I don't feel right when you're gone away_

_You've gone away  
You don't feel me here anymore_

"Just talk about it, at least with me. I wanna know what's going on with you." Jude sighed and began to speak.


	14. Forget to Remember

Chapter 12

Forget To Remember

_What have I done?  
Where have I come from?  
When I burnt the backs with the sun through a glass did I seal the loss that's become me?  
Feeling undone  
what have I become?  
When I turned my back on you I turned my back on myself and became this machine_

"It's not that I don't love you, because I do, It's just that… I don't know if I can do this?"

"What get married, because if I rushed you—"

_  
Thoughtlessness  
Selfishness  
Hopelessness  
Arrogant  
I feel it on the inside  
Twisting and contorting  
Memory has shaped me once again  
Still feel you on the inside  
Biting through and stinging_

"No, It's just that ever since the whole Mike thing. I just don't know if I can do this, be here. I just feel worthless and like I can't trust anyone. Every second I feel like Mike is going to come and finish what he started. I just wanted to forget to remember. I relive it every day."

_  
Will I ever forget to remember?  
Shadows in the sun  
Filter through us  
Still wrestle the demons that arrested me as a child  
Confession rejected  
We grow up  
To give up  
People step on the cracks for wounds owed paid back  
Through the words of surrender_

"I'm here for you, you can trust me."

"I know I just feel like I can't."

_  
Emptiness  
Loneliness  
Listlessness  
Worthless  
I feel it on the inside  
Twisting and contorting  
Memory has shaped me once again  
Still feel you on the inside  
Biting through and stinging  
Will I ever forget to remember?_

"That's why we think it's best for you to go to one of these centers. They have people that can help you."

_  
Can you save me?  
From myself  
from these memories  
can you save me?  
From myself  
from these memories  
Surrender  
To the shadows  
Haunting inside  
Bleed through you_

"I can deal with it myself."

_  
Surrender to the secrets...inside  
Lies within you  
I feel it on the inside  
Twisting and contorting  
Memory has shaped me once again  
Still feel you on the inside  
Biting through and stinging  
Will I ever forget to remember?_

"You call trying to kill yourself dealing with it?" said Sadie who had just walked into the room with Victoria closely behind.

_  
Can't feel you on the inside  
Set down the bag and left it  
Lost memory has left me  
One again  
Open up the inside  
Admission for the cleansing  
Now that I've forgotten to remember  
Surrender  
To the shadows  
Haunting inside  
Bleed through you_

"Victoria, can I talk to you alone in the hallway for a minute."

"Sure Tommy." He led her into the hall. "What's this all about?"

"I think that you should report Sadie."

"For what?"

"Conspiracy or something, I don't know. She helped Mike out with the whole kidnapping Jude thing. Jude overheard Mike talk about it numerous times."

"I need to think about this."

"Okay." Tommy and Victoria went back into the room just in time to hear Sadie.

"Jude, you little slut. How could you let Mike do that to you? Especially when you're with Tommy. I bet you enjoyed every second of it. God damn it Jude. This is why Tommy should be with me, I'd never hurt him like this." Jude busted into tears thinking that Sadie was right. "Then you off and try to kill yourself. Smooth, you're so weak that you couldn't even finish the job. I wish you would've had the balls to."

"Why did you help Mike?"

"Pfft… TOMMY DUH! And there's no way you can prove that I did."

"Why?"

"Because Tommy should be MINE! And he was at least until you decided to try to kill yourself for attention, like you don't have enough. I'm the one that was always calling Tommy. Every time he was "at the studio" he was at my house. We were wrapped in silk sheets. Wrapped up in each other, under the covers, having fun. The kind of fun he could never have with you."

"THAT'S NOT TRUE!" Tommy screamed

"SADIE HARRISON" Victoria hollered as she grabbed onto Sadie and dragged her out of the building.

"Is… Is that true?" Jude asked Tommy

"Hell No! I love you, I don't even want to be near her let alone touch her and (shudders) other things. I'd probably get an STD just from giving her a hug. You honestly think that I'd do that?"

"I don't know what to think anymore, I mean my dad kidnapped me. Sadie helped.

"But I'm not like that, you know that."

"I don't know anything."

"Yes you do!"

"NO I DON'T!"

"You should know that I love you and that we'll get through this together. I promise I won't leave or hurt you."

"Ok… I hope. I love you Tommy I didn't mean to hurt you."

"It's ok. Now will you pick one of those centers? Your mom and I will take care of the whole Sadie thing."

"Ok where are the brochures?"

"Here." Tommy picked them up and handed them to her. After a little while she picked one out.

"I like this one."

"Ok, as soon as you get out of the hospital…"

"Alright well I'm sleepy so good night."

"Night I love you"

"I love you too."


	15. Giving In

Chapter 13

Giving In

Jude had been in the rehab center for about a month and a half. Part of her therapy was to write down her feelings and keep a journal recording her progress. At home Tommy was sitting in his mini-studio. He started thinking about recent events and how he missed Jude. Tommy started to write. He finished the song and sent it to Jude.

At one of Jude's group meetings she determined that she was going to share something. When it came her turn Mrs. Freud asked

"Miss Harrison do you have anything to share with us?"

"Yes I do, it's a new song. It's about addictions." She grabbed her guitar and sat on a stool. "It's called Giving In." She strummed a few chords then her melodious voice filled the room.

'_Will you walk me to the edge again  
shaking, lonely, and I am drinking again  
woke up, tonight, and no ones here with me,  
I'm giving in to you  
take me, under  
I'm giving in to you  
I'm dying tonight  
I'm giving in to you  
watch me crumble  
I'm giving in to you  
I'm crying tonight  
I'm giving in to you_

_Caught up in life  
losing all my friends  
family has tried to heal all of my addictions  
tragic it seems to be alone again  
I'm giving in to you_

_Take me under  
I'm giving in to you  
I'm dying tonight  
I'm giving in to you  
watch me crumble  
I'm giving in to you  
I'm crying tonight  
I'm giving in to you_

_I look forward  
to dying tonight  
over myself  
life's harder every day  
the stress has got me  
I'm giving in  
giving... giving it all_

_Take me under  
I'm feeling all the pain  
I'm dying tonight  
watch me crumble  
I'm crying tonight  
I'm giving in to you  
take me under  
I'm giving in to you  
I'm dying tonight  
I'm giving in to you  
watch me crumble  
I'm giving in to you  
I'm crying tonight_

_Take me under, I'm giving in to you  
I'm dying tonight, I'm giving in to you._'

Everyone stood up and clapped when she was done. Mrs. Freud turned to her after the ruckus died down and said

"Very good Miss Harrison. Ok well our time is up get your mail then go back to your rooms." Jude was one of the first ones out. She felt better after singing that. It was close to the feeling she had after she performed 'Skin' on 'Under The Mic.' She got her mail. A smile played across her face when she saw that Tommy had sent her something. That particular something looked curiously like a Cd. Jude knew what these mystery gifts looked like because Jamie used to love to give CD's for like EVERY occasion. He loved making mix CDs then wrapping them up in odd ways and giving them to her.

Jude practically skipped to her room. She opened the package, she was right it was a CD, and popped it into her CD player. Tommy's voice came coursing through her speakers.

'**_Hey Jude, haha sorry about that. Anyways if you're blind and didn't see my name on the package it's Tommy. I just wanted you to know that I've been thinking about you a lot. I wrote a song for you. It's called Here Without You._**

_**A hundred days have made me older  
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face  
A thousand lies have made me colder  
And I don't think I can look at this the same  
But all these miles that separate  
Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face**_

_**I'm here without you baby  
But you're still on my lonely mind  
I think about you baby  
And I dream about you all the time  
I'm here without you baby  
But you're still with me in my dreams  
And tonight it's only you and me**_

_**The miles just keep rollin'  
As the people leave their way to say hello  
I've heard this life was overrated  
But I hope that it gets better as we go**_

_**I'm here without you baby  
But you're still on my lonely mind  
I think about you baby  
And I dream about you all the time  
I'm here without you baby  
But you're still with me in my dreams  
And tonight girl its only you and me**_

_**Everything I know, and anywhere I go  
It gets hard but it wont take away my love  
And when the last one falls  
When it's all said and done  
It gets hard but it wont take away my love**_

_**I'm here without you baby  
But you're still on my lonely mind  
I think about you baby  
And I dream about you all the time  
I'm here without you baby  
But you're still with me in my dreams  
And tonight girl its only you and me**_

_**Ok well I just wanted to tell you that and I love you and I can't wait until we can see each other again.'**_

The CD ended and Jude fell asleep shortly there after. In a few more weeks she'd be out of here and able to see Tommy.


	16. Because of you

Chapter 14

Because Of You

Jude had finally gotten out of the rehab center. EJ was promptly getting on the press aspect of it. She got Jude booked on one of the hottest talk shows in Canada, 'Talk it Up with Jay'. Tommy walked into the studio (where Jude was)

"Only 4 days back and EJ already has you booked on a talk show."

"Yup, you know EJ, Tommy, She's too work-minded for her own good."

"Yea I totally agree." Jude walked towards Tommy and kissed him.

"Thanks for being here and just everything else you've done… thanks. I couldn't have done any of this without you."

"You're welcome. You know I could never leave you." Jude glared at him "Again" he quickly added.

"I know, thank you." She just stood there hugging Tommy wrapped up in his arms. "Oh, ummm…. I sort of lost my ring. During that whole situation happened _he_ took it off."

"Well get ready to be amazed. Because I have it right…" Tommy dug into his pocket and pulled out the ring "here." He slipped the ring onto Jude's finger "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"What? Get married to you, HELL YEAH!" Tommy laughed

"I was referring to the talk show but I'm glad you're that enthused about being Mrs. Jude Quincy."

"Oh, well I am enthused about us getting married. But with the whole talk show thing… you know how I felt when I was going to do 'Under the Mic'?"

"What? Wanting to pull out, being nervous as hell, freaking out because they were going to ask you about Shay?"

"Yeah, that… well right now I'm like ten times worse. So I'm as ready as I'll ever be."

"Well don't worry about it, I'll be with you every step. I guess we should get going."

Tommy and Jude walked to the Viper and got in. The entire ride to the set where the show was being recorded was filled with Tommy trying to calm Jude down. They finally arrived and Jude was immediately pulled into hair and make-up. Jude quickly flashed Tommy a 'help me' look.

The show began.

"Hello Canada! This is Talk It Up with Jay. Tonight as our special guest star we have the lovely Jude Harrison." The announcer's voice screeched through the PA system. "Here's your host… Jay McCartney" The audience applauded and Jay came through the double doors of the set. He went through his monologue and a few news stories. The show went through some commercial breaks. It was half over when it was Jude's turn.

"Ok everyone. It's time for our special guest… Jude Harrison." Jude walked calmly from back stage to the couch.

"Hello Jay."

"Hey Jude!" The one line '_Hey Jude don't let me down'_ from the Beatles played then cut off. Jay started to laugh at his own corny joke; Jude just rolled her eyes and chuckled a fake laugh. "So, every major tabloid in the world had reported that for the past two months you've been in a rehab center. Is this true?"

"Well you don't waste any time do you?" Jude let out a faint laugh "I'm sad to say that yes, it's true."

"How come?"

"Well something with my ex-fiancé happened, something really bad. That sort of set me off. I had a lot of pressure on me and nothing was going right. Well that is except for my absolutely wonderful fiancé. But I was too blind to see that then. Lucky for me he cares about me a lot, and I have a very caring mother."

"So what happened?"

"I started overdosing on Valium, drinking. I also tried to kill myself a few times; it was a very dark time in my life. But I got help, with much probing, and I'm better now. I'm extremely lucky to have such wonderful people in my life. Oh, I also got a lot of mail from fans wanting me to pull through. I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who supported me."

"So who is this fiancé you've been talking about? Chaz Blackburn? We all saw those photos."

"No, we're just friends now."

"What about those pictures? They looked a bit more than friends to me."

"I was cheating on Mike with Chaz, I will admit that. I still care about Chaz, just not like that anymore. And I'm no longer sorry for cheating on Mike because he was cheating on me with my slut of a sister."

"Anyways, who's the flavor of the week?" Jude looked at Tommy backstage who just nodded his head.

"Well before I tell you, I just want to say that he's not just 'the flavor of the week' I truly believe I found my soul mate. You know what I'm not gonna tell you I'll show you. Sweetie come on out here." Tommy walked out from backstage and all of the girls in the audience screamed. Jude stood up and kissed Tommy and then they both sat down.

"So, you're engaged to Little Tommy Q.?"

"It's Tom Quincy now." Tommy corrected

"Well whatever. So you're Jude's fiancé?"

"Yup. And I love her with all of my heart."

"Sorry ladies… Tom Quincy is taken." Jay said with a little bit of disgust in his voice

"He's helped me through all of this. If it weren't for him I wouldn't be here right now. I literally owe him my life. I love him with everything I am."

"Well, you heard it here. Lil'… I mean Tom Quincy and Jude Harrison are getting married. We'll be right back with a performance by Jude."

The show went into commercial break. Jude got her make-up touched up. Tommy just about ran from the make-up artist when she tried to put some on him. During the break Jude got onto the stage on which she was going to perform. The show came back form the break; the camera focused on Tommy then onto Jude's ring then onto Jude holding her guitar. Jay walked up beside Jude and turned to the camera.

"OK Jude Harrison will be perform…" Jay started then Jude cut-in

"A new song Because of You. This song is dedicated to 3 people. Who hurt me very badly."

'_I will not make the same mistakes that you did  
I will not let myself  
Cause my heart so much misery  
I will not break the way you did,  
You fell so hard  
I've learned the hard way  
To never let it get that far_

_Because of you  
I never stray too far from the sidewalk  
Because of you  
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt  
Because of you  
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me  
Because of you   
I am afraid_

_I lose my way  
And it's not too long before you point it out  
I cannot cry  
Because you know that's weakness in your eyes  
I'm forced to fake  
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life  
My heart can't possibly break  
When it wasn't even whole to start with_

_Because of you  
I never stray too far from the sidewalk  
Because of you  
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt  
Because of you  
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me  
Because of you  
I am afraid_

_I watched you die  
I heard you cry every night in your sleep  
I was so young  
You should have known better than to lean on me  
You never thought of anyone else   
You just saw your pain  
And now I cry in the middle of the night  
For the same damn thing_

_Because of you  
I never stray too far from the sidewalk  
Because of you  
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt  
Because of you  
I tried my hardest just to forget everything  
Because of you  
I don't know how to let anyone else in  
Because of you  
I'm ashamed of my life  
because it's empty  
Because of you  
I am afraid_

_Because of you  
Because of you'_

The song ended and Jay came up to Jude again.

"That was great. Alright we'll be back after this." Jude was done so she went into her dressing room and Tommy followed.

"Honey… who was that about?"

"It was about **_him_**."

"Oh, ok. Well it was great."

"Thanks. I wrote like 4 or 5 more when I was in rehab."

"Ok well we'll hop right on that. I'm sure Georgia will be pleased." EJ walked into the room

"Jude, Tomorrow night I've booked you for a concert."

"Ummm well thanks EJ."

"Can't she just take a break?" Tommy interjected

"Not now. We must let the public know that she's all right. That she's back and stronger than ever."

"But—"

"No Tommy, it's alright. EJ is right. I can't let my people down."

"Well that's something I never thought I'd hear."

"Yeah, well no offense EJ but that's something I never thought I'd say."

"Well go home and get some rest. You'll need your energy if you wanna give a great concert."

"Ok Bye EJ." Tommy and Jude went home.


	17. Poor Thing

Chapter 15

Poor Thing

Jude was watching TV when Tommy came downstairs in nothing but a towel, he had just got finished taking a shower. Jude turned around and looked at him.

"Would you put some clothes on?"

"Why?"

"Because… you need to get dressed"

"Why?"

"Because… and I swear to God if you say 'Why' one more time I'll smack you… We have to leave in an hour."

"So? We have an hour we could…"

"Don't even finish that sentence."

"What?" Tommy asked innocently, "I was just going to say that we could have dinner. Gees what were you thinking?" He raised his eyebrows insinuatingly. Jude just rolled her eyes and was about to say something but the TV blared as the news came on. '_Breaking news. Mike Harris breaks out of jail where he was awaiting trial for the kidnapping and rape of singer/songwriter Jude Harrison, his ex-fiancé. If anyone has information on the whereabouts of Mike Harris call the number at the bottom of your screen.'_

"Oh my God! Tommy! Mike broke out of jail. Oh my god!" Jude says out of breath and half hyperventilating, "How am I gonna perform? He's gonna come after me! and you!"

"Jude Calm down. It's going to be okay. We'll just get the police to look out and protect you."

"What about you?"

"I'm much more worried about you."

"But…" Jude was interrupted by a knock on the door. "What if that's him." Tommy raised his eyebrows questioningly.

"Why would he knock?"

"I don't know but what if?"

"Then we won't answer." Tommy went and looked out the window. It was a police officer. Tommy opened the door.

"Mr. Quincy we," the cop turned around to reveal about 5 more cops. "Have come to protect you and Miss Harrison. We believe Mike Harris will make an attempt to harm you. We'll escort you to the concert." Tommy and Jude got into the Viper and left. The police rode in squad cars in front of and behind the Viper. 15 minutes later, they arrived at the concert hall. Fans and press bombarded Jude and Tommy. After a few minutes, they pushed past the mob and got Jude ready for the concert. It was time for Jude to go on stage.

She looked out into the crowd and saw him. He stood there nonchalantly near the back. Jude ran to one of the officers.

"Mike is here… He's near the back." all of the sudden an idea came to her. "Wait! Don't get him yet. Let him stay for my first song." The police did as she said and just stood in the back, watching Mike. Jude went on stage "Hello everybody! Thanks to all of you who supported me when I was in rehab, I couldn't have done it without you. Alright this is a new song, it's dedicated to Mike Harris."

_(Speaking)_

_It. it happens to other people,_

_You say how sad,_

_You say poor thing_

_(Music starts, but still spoken)_

_But when it's you it's something else,_

_It's everything_

_(Sung)_

_You'll never believe the nightmares,_

_You'll never know the pain you caused,_

_You'll never see the scars you left,_

_The things you saw and everything I lost_

_You took my body tore it in half_

_You took my childhood, my heart and my laugh,_

_You took everything I ever kept for myself_

_Then you're gone_

_I'm not your poor thing._

The whole time she was singing she stared Mike straight in the eyes. After the song was over Mike started running towards the stage, with a gun screaming "YOU DIRTY SLUT!" The police caught him just in time.

Jude finished the concert as if nothing happened. When the concert was over she went backstage with a vacant look in her eyes.

"Jude!" Tommy screamed after her. She turned around, looked at him, then turned back around and kept walking. "Jude! STOP! WAIT!" This time she stopped

"What?" She asked with a bit of spite in her voice

"Are you okay?" for the first time since the beginning of the concert Jude looked Tommy straight in the eyes.

"Do I look Ok?"

Tommy and Jude argued for a few minutes then left. By the time they got home Jude had broken down into tears. She ran up the stairs and unlocked the door. Tommy ran after her only a few seconds behind.

"Jude, Just talk to me, please."

"And tell you what?" Jude started to yell, "that when he was there at the concert, that he could've hurt me or you; That every time I see him I want to scream, at him, at myself for ever trusting him. That I feel like I can't trust anyone for fear of that they'll do the same thing. That I'm dying inside, I'm just slipping away. That I'm angrier with myself forever trusting that rat-bastard. That every time I think of him and what he did to me, what he almost did to you," Jude's voice started to falter as her brave face cascaded down around her "That I wish I could've been man enough, that I had had the courage to finish the job for him. I just wish that none of this were happening. Every time some stupid news report says something about him I just want to scream and rip my hair out. That sometimes I wish I were dead. That every fucking time something moves I think it's him coming after me again! That my own FATHER and SISTER BETRAYED ME! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT ME TO TALK ABOUT!"

"Oh Jude honey, I didn't know you felt like that you could've told me."

"Why, so you could like at me like a pathetic child, the worthless victim!"

"I just want to know that you are alright."

"Well I'm not alright, I don't think I'll be alright for quite some time! OKAY!" Even though Jude's voice was shaky she was still yelling.

"Jude no one expects you to be all rainbows and sunshine, but hiding what you feel isn't healthy."

"Fine WHATEVER! Let's just go to bed okay, I'm tired."

Tommy sighed deeply before saying ok. They went into the bedroom and laid down. Tommy fell asleep almost immediately. Jude however stayed up the entire night, her head filled with memories of her tragedy. Images kept replaying in her head, conversations, discoveries, and betrayals.

_-"MIKE!"_

_"Yes honey, you're mine. Your blue eyed Prince isn't saving you."_

_-"So **my** sleeping beauty has awoken."_

_-"Honey I'm so sorry but this was the only way we could show you that Tommy doesn't love you."_

"_Don't even talk to me **dad**"_

She was staring at the wall the whole night whilst the memories repeated in her head, each time giving a deeper resonance to her sorrow. When Tommy woke up Jude was in the same exact position she was in the whole night except now she was huddled in the corner. She looked so pale, there were bags under her eyes, and she looked so hollow and yet so full of pain.

"Jude, what are you staring at? Did you get any sleep last night?" When she didn't answer he called out her name. She was silent yet again, after about 20 minutes he gave up; she hadn't even so much as blinked. Tommy called Kwest

"Hey man, what's up?"

"Kwest can you come over, it's Jude"

"Umm sure what about her?"

"You'll see when ya get here."

"Alrighty then" About 20 minutes later Kwest arrived. Tommy immediately led him into the bedroom. "So what about J--" He stopped as soon as he saw her, she still hadn't moved. Jude had become catatonic. "Dude, have you called the hospital or someone?"

"No, you're the first one I called, I don't know who else to call. I mean who deals with this sort of stuff?"

"The psych ward."

"Shut up Kwest, I'm serious"

"So am I man."

"She's already been there for like a month and a half, she doesn't need to go there again."

"Apparently she does. Besides, she was in rehab, not the insane asylum. So, how about this— we call Dr. Lennon and ask him, he'll sure as hell know what to do."

"Alright. That sounds good to me." Tommy took out his cell phone and dialed Dr. Lennon's number, at the fifth ring he answered. "Hello Dr. Lennon, it's Tom Quincy."

"Oh yes, you're Jude Harrison's beau aren't you."

"Yes sir."

"Well how is she?"

"Not too well, actually that's what I was calling about. It's Jude, she's gone sort of catatonic."

"Oh, well that's definitely not good. Ummm you don't think you can get her in here so I can make a medical assessment?"

"No, I don't think that would be possible."

"Ok well Mr. Quincy where do you and Ms. Harrison live? I assume you're living with her."

"Yes, We live at 6248 Merlin Circle."

"Ok, well I will be there as soon as possible."

"Thank you so much Dr. Lennon." Tommy hung up the phone and turned to Kwest. "Do you think I should call Victoria?"

"Yea, after all she is Jude's mother."

"K." Tommy called Victoria, Shay, Jamie and Kat. He told them what was happening and that he would call them later to let them know how Jude was doing. The only one who came to Tommy and Jude's house was Victoria. She arrived just a few minutes before Dr. Lennon. Dr. Lennon confirmed what Tommy had thought, that she was catatonic, and told Tommy, Victoria, and Kwest that she needed to go to a ward temporarily.

"Talk about 'Temporary Insanity'" Tommy just glared at Kwest "What?"

"Don't even." Tommy said in a very low angry tone. They transported Jude who was lost in her own little world of deceit, hurt, untrusting, and misery.

_-"You've done enough. And no I'll not let you go. You're mine now. We'll just wait for your knight in the shining blue Viper."_

_"You can't bring Tommy into this!"_

_"Too late. You involved him when you choose him over me."_

_-"This isn't the way to get me back."_

"_This will."_

_ -I'm giving in to you take me, under I'm giving in to you I'm dying tonight I'm giving in to you watch me crumble I'm giving in to you I'm crying tonight I'm giving in to you_

They got her settled into the ward; she still hadn't averted her stare. Tommy stayed the whole night in the room with her just talking to her, trying to get her to talk. He would come in every night just to be with her, even though it was like she wasn't talking back, he just wanted her to know he cared.


	18. Dizzy

Chapter 16

Dizzy

Two months had passed and Jude still hadn't talked. Tommy was in her room telling her about his day while she just stared at the wall. Out of nowhere Kwest ran in with a CD and a stereo.

"Tommy! You got to listen to this!" Kwest said out of breath "Here." He threw the CD at Tommy, who was looking at him like he was nuts, and plugged in the stereo. A man's voice came coursing through the tiny speakers.

_You're just another pretty face  
In a room full of whores  
No you don't mean much  
Used to be so naive  
Catatonic  
Now you seem to be so much better than before_

_Now you've made a mess of yourself  
You've made a mess of everything  
You're a mess  
A fuckin' mess  
Dumb dumb  
Dizzy dizzy  
Dumb dumb  
Dizzy dizzy_

"Ok? And why did you want me to listen to this?" Tommy asked at the end of the song.

"Because, read the thing on 'Dizzy'"

"Ok… clears his throat _**Music by:** Victor Barnes_ _**Lyrics by:** Mike Harris Production_… wait what? Lyrics by Mike Harris!"

"Yup, now read the dedication."

"_**Mike Harris** would like to thank Jude Harrison, my sleeping beauty, and the inspiration for this song. I'll be waiting for you, I hope you wait for me too. I'll be around every corner in every alley until you are mine._' Oh my God! What the hell? This guy is **INSANE**!"

"Yea tell me about it. Now read the chorus to number 7, Fetisha. Because on the creds for that he says something about singing the chorus at her funeral and then he says some cryptic stuff that leads me to believe that he plans on killing her if he gets out."

"Ummm ok? '_Tell them all she won't be back cause she needed the change. Turned away from her fears she's been falling down Tell them all she's gonna be gone, gone, gone. Just listen to me Cause she needed the friends_' hmm what in the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"I don't know but I don't like it."

"Me neither man, me neither."


	19. Fiction Dreams in Digital

Chapter 17

Fiction

Kwest walked into Georgia's office, at G major, where she was buried in a stack of papers. Clearing his throat, as to not scare Georgia he spoke up

"Hey Georgia. I was wondering if you could do me a kindness and help me with something."

"What?"

"Well I'm really starting to worry about Tom, he'll come to work for the minimal amount of time then go off to see Jude. If he's not there trying to get her to talk he's at home, drinking or writing and doing god knows what else."

"Alright, well where do I come into this equation?"

"Well he has this song, and I've been trying to get him to record it. You see I think that it would help him deal with all of this a lot. It's deeper than anything he's ever written before. He wrote it about Jude. Anyways, it's really good but he won't listen to me."

"So…" Georgia said starting to grow impatient with Kwest's incessant rambling

"So… maybe if you talk to him too, we can convince him to record. He doesn't have to release it or anything but just having it down can help."

"Do you really think that's a good idea?"

"Yup, I sure do."

"Ok well if you can get him here, on your own time, then I will help."

"Alrighty then, this should be interesting." Kwest left to go to get Tommy. After a while Kwest convinced Tommy to come with him to the studio. Tommy still had no idea why. Kwest didn't tell him to take his new song because Tommy carried it around in his wallet, in case Jude ever started talking again. The pair arrived just as Georgia was about to leave. She turned around and saw Kwest dragging Tommy by the arm. "GEORGIA!" Kwest shouted "Come on, I got him down here now TALK TO HIM!"

"Ok well, let me unlock the door and we can go inside." While Georgia unlocked the door Kwest grabbed Tommy by the arm once again and led him into the building. "Alright Tommy, intervention time. Sit!" Tommy rolled his eyes and sat across from Georgia "Kwest has been worrying about you a lot, and he has brought to my attention some very unhealthy things you've been doing. I hear from a little birdie that you have a song you wrote about Jude. Well I've talked it over with Kwest and we think that you should record it. You don't have to release it but recording it might help you with whatever issues you have. But before you do that I need you to know that you are not the only one suffering from Jude's catatonia. I love her like she's my own daughter, it hurts every time I think I will be seeing her smiling face and her warm laugh, it truly does. I know that you've taken it the hardest, her not being here, but you're work is suffering. I know for a fact that Jude wouldn't want that. She would want you to continue on as if she were here, because that's what I've been doing. I know it's hard but you have to try. We, Kwest and I, think that by you recording your song, it will help."

"If I do it, will you all just leave me alone?" Georgia looked at Kwest who just shrugged.

"Sure." Tommy grabbed a guitar and went into studio B. Georgia and Kwest followed. Tommy was about to come in to do the producing when Kwest stopped him

"Man, you're behind the mic tonight, I'm producing you now man."

"Whatever." Tommy went back into the recording room. He gave Kwest the signal to start recording. A light guitar riff started off the song, and then Tommy's voice filled the air.

_She's lost in coma_

_Where it's beautiful_

_Intoxicated from the deep sleep_

_Deep sleep_

_Do you wonder what it's like?_

_Living in a permanent imagination_

_Sleeping to escape reality_

_But you like it like that_

The guitar playing became a little more aggressive and started to speed up as Tommy's voice started to shake as he entered into the chorus.

_Guilty by design_

_She's nothing more than fiction_

_She dreams in digital_

_Because it's better than nothing_

_Now that control's gone_

_It seems unreal_

_She's dreaming in digital_

_Because it's better than nothing_

_Now that control's gone_

_It seems unreal_

_That she's dreaming in digital_

_She dreams in digital_

Tommy changed chord progressions and the tempo slowed down to its original pace.

_And your pixel army can't save you now_

_My finger's on the kill switch_

_I remember I used to compose your dreams_

_Control your dreams_

_And don't be afraid to expose yourself_

_Before I shut you down_

_You made some changes since the virus caught you sleeping_

Tommy entered the chorus again, and the beat picked up.

_Guilty by design_

_She's nothing more than fiction_

_She dreams in digital_

_Because it's better than nothing_

_Now that control's gone_

_It seems unreal_

_She's dreaming in digital_

_Cause it's better than nothing_

_Now that control is gone_

_It seems unreal when she's dreaming in digital_

_She dreams in digital_

_She's guilty by design_

_Now that control's gone_

_It seems unreal she's dreaming in digital_

_She's nothing more than fiction_

_Cause it's better than nothing_

_Now that control is gone_

_It seems unreal_

_She's dreaming in digital_

The guitar slowed down and became less aggressive as the song came to an end. Then Tommy broke down. Kwest and Georgia rushed to his side. Georgia was the first to speak.

"Yeah Tom that's it let it out. You've been too busy being strong for everyone else that you forgot to grieve."

"She's right, you need to let it out. Don't stay _Frozen_." Georgia just shook her head. "ok, apparently not the time for jokes?" After about 15 minutes of Tommy's break down. His tears started to slow down. "Hey man, let me drive you home." Tommy just nodded his head '_yes_'. Kwest led him to his car and drove him home. At the sight of the house Tommy broke down again. "Ok looks like you're crashing at my place tonight."

"I feel _**sniffle**_ like** sob** such a **sniffle** teenage girl"

"It's alright, you need to let it out. It's completely understandable; you've been through a lot this past few months. Just don't go getting too mushy with me." Kwest and Tommy shared a short chuckle. When they finally arrived at Kwest's place they were sharing stories about Jude, and the good times they had. "Man, I miss the way she used to smile." Then all of the sudden Tommy snapped

"Quit it! Just quit it!"

"Quit what?"

"We're talking about her like she's dead. She's not dammit she's still alive! Jude is just a few miles down the street. So just STOP IT!"

"Alright man, it's fine" Kwest patted his best friend on the back while he sobbed. He led Tommy up the stairs to his apartment. When they got inside Tommy plopped down on the couch. Kwest went into the hallway when he came out he had a pillow and a blanket with him. He threw them at Tommy who was beginning to calm down a little.

"Hey man, I'm sorry I snapped at you."

"No sweat man, it's cool. You need to get your sleep though. So rest up."

"Alright."

"I have and idea. How about tomorrow EJ, Georgia, Shay, Kat, Jamie, Victoria, You, and me all go down and visit Jude."

"Ok." Kwest got up and went into his bedroom and Tommy got comfortable on the couch. Tommy cried himself to sleep and Kwest fought the urge to go comfort him. Kwest knew he just needed to let it out. The next day Kwest, true to his word, called everyone and told him or her to meet him at the clinic. Everybody met and visited Jude and one another. Afterwards they all went to a small diner, chatted and reminisced.

Days went by and Tommy began to feel better. He gradually decreased his dependency on alcohol, he had figured Georgia and Kwest were right if Jude was lucid she wouldn't have wanted him to be drinking, she would've been ashamed of the way he had been acting. Also, he had quit blaming himself; he knew that if it was anyone's fault, it was Mike's. Releasing his anger and grief through writing also helped him.


	20. The Ghost of You and Me

Chapter 18  
The Ghost of You and Me

Tommy had decided to record his long awaited solo album. He finally had the right inspiration, and the timing was finally right. Tommy gave Kwest, who was producing him, the signal to start recording. Tommy strummed his acoustic guitar for a few seconds before singing, soft and slow.

_What am I supposed to do with all these blues  
haunting me everywhere  
No matter what I do  
watching the candle flicker out  
in the evening glow  
I can't let go, when will the night be over_

The pace became a bit faster as Tommy played into the chorus

_I didn't mean to fall in love with you  
And baby there's a name for what you put me through  
It isn't love it's robbery  
I'm sleeping with the ghost of you and me_

The guitar became quieter and slower as did his voice

_Seen a lot of broken hearts go sailing by  
Phantom ships, lost at sea  
Well one of them is mine  
Raising my glass I sing a toast to the midnight sky  
I wonder why the stars don't seem to guide me  
(chorus repeated)_

The tempo picked up and Tommy put all of his power into the bridge

_The ghost of you and me  
When will it set me free  
I hear the voices call  
Following footsteps down the hall  
Trying to save what's left of my heart and soul_

His voice went back to its original softness

_Watching the candle flicker out in the evening glow  
I can't let go  
When will this night be over  
(chorus to fade out)_

As he ended the song a frantic Shay darted into the room. With his head down and eyes closed he raised his hand and put up one finger while panting. Kwest and Tommy had the same bewildered look on their faces. When Shay finally caught his breath he began to speak

"It's Jude." Shay said still wheezing, "She's unconscious. She was sitting in her room all catatonic like she's been then wham-o passed-out-ville."

"What!"

"She's in the hospital, come on let's go." At this Tommy slammed his fists down on the table and let out a frustrated scream.

"DAMN IT! I thought she was doing better! It's been three months, three fucking months without incident! GOD DAMN IT!" Tommy smashed his fists against the door making the wood cave in. "Damn good-for-nothing doctors, don't know what the hell they're talking about!"

"Tommy, chill!"

"CHILL! YOU WANT ME TO CHILL! WELL THAT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN MY FIANCE IS IN THE FUCKING HOSPITAL AFTER BEING CATATONIC FOR SIX MONTHS! AND YOU WANT ME TO CHILL!"

"Ok, point taken. How about calm down now, flip out later. We, no you NEED to go see Jude."

"Yea ok whatever. Let's just go." The trio headed out and hopped into Kwest's H2. They made it to the hospital in record timing. When they got to Jude's room, she was still asleep. Dr. Lennon came into the room, looked at the three, looked at Jude then back at the trio and just sighed. "Doc, what the hell is wrong with her now?"

"I… I don't know anymore, the medical reason is exhaustion. She hasn't been sleeping apparently. But I think it's more than that, call it a will to die. I just don't get it, Vikki said she was fine."

"Vikki? As in Victoria? As in Victoria Harrison? Jude's mother?"

"Yeah."

"Well she wouldn't know, she hasn't been by to visit her. And how do you know?"

"Oh, Vikki and I are dating now."

"Oh, well that's wonderful. Her mother's shacking up with her doctor while she's catatonic in a filthy mental hospital."

"We are not '_shacking up_', and I do not appreciate you talking to me like that young sir."

"Oh well, pardon me for being a bit ticked, you two are living it up while my fiancé, the love of my life, is miserable."

"Just leave, all of you LEAVE!"

"But Tommy!" Kwest and Shay finally squeaked out

"NO! LEAVE! ALL OF YOU!" Everyone left, Tommy was alone with the exception of a very passed out Jude. He took a seat and grabbed a hold of Jude's hands. "Jude…" He croaked out, he started to cry and pour his heart out, "Don't leave me, please. These last few months without you have been the hardest months of my life. You are my life; I cannot live without my life. You're breaking my heart. Just, don't leave me. I miss you. If you die, you'll take me with you. I can't stand this anymore. Don't go where I can't follow, please." Tommy broke down. Soon his pleas were muffled with the sounds of his sobs. He wrapped his arms around Jude and buried his head into her stomach, pleading her to stay with him. After a few hours he felt a hand on his back, he turned around but nobody was there. He felt it again, tapping his back. The cold hand lingered there for a few minutes before a coughing sound then a faint '_Tommy_' was heard. He turned back to Jude's bed. At the sight of her he started to cry again, she was awake. And for the first time in six months had said something. Tommy ran up to Jude and squeezed her.

"Tommy," Jude choked out. "I can't breathe."

"I'm sorry," he said backing up. "I've missed you so much"

"I… I know. And I'm sorry. I heard what you said. I, I never meant to make it hard for you. I just, I don't know. I didn't want to deal with everything anymore. I'm so sorry for being that incredibly selfish."

"Just don't do it ever again."

"Ok I promise, I'll never leave you again." They shared a passionate embrace when Kwest, Shay, Dr. Lennon, Victoria, Kat and Jamie walked in.

"OK Mr. Quincy, you're a miracle worker." Dr. Lennon commented

"Nope, he just knows how to say the right thing." Jude said still in Tommy's embrace. Everyone but Tommy stared at her in shock. Shay was the first one to jump back to reality. He shook his head in disbelief then ran to Jude, grabbed her from Tommy and trapped her in a vice-grip of a hug. Soon everybody else followed, including Dr. Lennon, and enveloped Jude in a huge group-hug. "OK guys, not that I don't love this but I can't breathe." Everyone let go and hovered around her bed. "So, Doc, when can I get out of here?"

"I, um, I… this has never happened under my care before. I ummm guess you can go as soon as the psychiatrists and I check you out. Make sure you've had a full recovery. So everyone can you clear the room." Dr. Lennon did his check up and cleared her. Now it was time for the shrinks. She would be interviewed by three of them and then they would confer with one another and make a decision. One by one the ominous looking men and one woman in suits came and evaluated her. When the last one left she turned to Jude and told her that they would be back in an hour with her results.


	21. PaperDoll

Chapter 19

PaperDoll

Exactly an hour later the psychiatrists came and gathered everyone into Jude's room. Everyone congregated around Jude's hospital bed, waiting for the results.

"Miss Harrison, "The woman looked around the room "and company, we have reached a conclusion."

"In the case of Jude Harrison." one of the men spoke up

"Hello! I'm a person, that's right here. Thank you very much." Jude huffed

"Well, Jude, we've come to a decision that both physically and mentally you are ready to go. You have a clean bill of health. But before you go we will have to prescribe you with some anti-depressants, and therapy once a week." The other man stated. The men and woman walked out of the room and went straight to Dr. Lennon's office.

"Wow." Jude said plainly "Well as soon as I get out of here, can we go to the studio, PLEEEASE" she begged Tommy

"Yeah, I guess. And actually while we're there I want you to hear some things."

"Alright." Dr. Lennon walked in and told her that she could go. He handed her the prescriptions, and the card when her first therapy appointment would be. Everyone filed out of the hospital room still processing everything. Jude got dressed and walked out to see everyone still sitting and staring blankly. "Hello people, anyone here?" They all looked up at her "Ummm ok? Didn't you hear them; I'm fine… let's go to that little diner down the street and catch up. Tell me what I've missed."

"Alright" "I'm for it" "Let's go" were some of the replies heard. They all left the hospital and got into their separate cars. A few minutes later everybody arrived at the small 24-hour diner. They got a table and started to talk. Victoria, who had been silent almost the whole time, finally spoke up.

"Jude, Honey I think there's something that you should know."

"umm ok what?"

"Well Jack, Dr. Lennon, and I are getting married. And Sadie is still living with us. I didn't press charges."

"Hold on, What! She's not in jail? Even after…" Jude stopped mid-sentence. She was livid; she couldn't believe that even after everything Sadie had done she had still managed to stay out of jail. Jude got up and stormed out of the diner. Tommy looked at Victoria with the same angry expression everyone else wore. He was the only one to speak though.

"How could you! You heard Sadie confess that she helped Mike! Sadie is part of the reason Jude was in the damn hospital in the first place! I can't even look at you right now." Tommy got up and pounded out of the diner to find Jude. Inside the diner he heard Shay yelling at Victoria. When Tommy found Jude she was in the alley behind the restaurant. It looked as if a hurricane had passed through; Tommy knew Jude had trashed the place. Now Jude was sitting with her back against the wall writing furiously. Tommy cleared his throat and sat down beside her. She looked up at him and hugged him tightly.

"Tommy let's go to the studio, I just wrote something that I really want to record."

"Ok." They treaded to the Viper and got in. Speeding to the studio, Jude was still writing. They got into the studio and Jude started looking around nostalgically. "Jude you wanna record?"

"Yea, ok." They both headed into the studio and Jude grabbed her guitar. She glided her hands over it gently before putting the strap over her shoulder. Playing around with a few chords, she found the chords she wanted and gave Tommy the green light to start recording.

_I Look At her In That Paper Dress.  
I Wonder Why She Won't Burn.  
She's Just A Paper Doll, That's All, Just A Paper Doll.  
I Dress Her Up She Knocks Me down_

_I Dress Her Up She Knocks Me down_

_I Dress Her Up She Knocks Me down  
They Try Her On For Size, she Fits Nice.  
One Size Fits All_

_One Size Fits All _

_One Size Fits All  
Now Her Soul Is Dead, Now Her Bodies Raw, You Can Numb Her Pain  
Watch The Blood Run Down Her Face.  
But Don't Take Notice.  
Watch The Blood Run Down Her Arms.  
Please Don't Take Notice.  
I Know You Have Her Soul.  
(And) I See It In Your Eyes.  
She Knows You Have Her Soul.  
(And) She Sees It In Your Eyes.  
Now Her Soul Is Dead, Now Her Bodies Raw, WASH AWAY HER PAIN  
She Wants You To Eat Her Pain.  
She Wants You To Eat Her Remains_

_She Wants You To Eat Her Remains _

_She Wants You To Eat Her Remains_

When she was done she looked up at Tommy. He was standing up and clapping, giving her a standing ovation. She chuckled slightly and ran into the booth where Tommy was. When she reached him she was beaming, she reached up and jumped on him, wrapping him in a warm embrace. Tommy opened his mouth to say something but Jude stopped him with a passionate kiss. '_Oh, god how I've missed this_' was the thought that ran across both of their minds. Jude pulled away, when Tommy was about to say something again she put one finger over his mouth to shush him.

"Don't say anything. I don't want to talk about it right now okay."

"Are you sure?"

"Completely. Let's go back home."

"Ok." They hopped into the Viper and went home. Tommy parked the car, got out, and opened Jude's door for her. He picked her up and carried her into the house. That night they made love for the first time in a long time. It was as if it was their first time. The next morning Jude woke up with Tommy's arms tight around her. He was already awake. "Good morning"

"Mmm, mornin'."

"Come on, I want you to see and hear something." Tommy grabbed Jude's hand and led her into his mini-studio. "Close your eyes." Jude did as she was told "Now hold out your hands" Jude obeyed and Tommy laid his CD in her hands. "Ok Now open up." Jude looked at what was placed in her hands. She read the title aloud

"**Without You. By Tom Quincy.** OH MY GOD! YOUR SOLO ALBUM! OH MY GOD! That's wonderful."

"Now listen to it." Jude popped the CD into the stereo. The first track was 'Fiction (Dreams In Digital), the second was 'Ghost of You and Me'...etc. The CD was filled with ballads of a lost love, rock ballads of missing something in your life. All in all it was a gut-wrenching, depressing album. One of Jude's favorites was track number 12 'Without You." The title track it was slow and full of pain.

_I've sure enjoyed the rain  
but I'm looking forward to the sun  
You have to feel the pain  
when you lose the love you gave someone  
I thought by now the time  
would take away these lonely tears  
I hope you're doing fine all alone,  
but where do I go from here 'cause_

_Without you I'm not okay  
And without you  
I've lost my way  
My heart's stuck  
in second place ooh  
Without you_

_Well I never thought I'd be  
lying here without you by my side  
It seems unreal to me that  
the life you promised was a lie  
You made it look so easy  
making love into memories  
I guess you got what you wanted  
but what about me 'cause_

_Without you I'm not okay  
And without you  
I've lost my way  
My heart's stuck  
in second place ooh  
Without you_

_Somebody tell my head to try to tell my heart  
That I'm better off without you  
'Cause baby I can't live_

_Without you I'm not okay  
And without you  
I've lost my way  
My heart's stuck  
in second place ooh  
Without you...Without you_

Her second favorite 'Tonight I wanna Cry' was just as slow and just as sad. It was track number 13

_Alone in this house again tonight  
I got the TV on, the sound turned down and a bottle of wine  
There's pictures of you and I on the walls around me  
The way that it was and could have been surrounds me  
I'll never get over you walkin' away_

_I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show  
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control  
But I'm just drunk enough to let got of my pain  
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain  
From my eyes  
Tonight I wanna cry_

_Would it help if I turned a sad song on  
"All By Myself" would sure hit me hard now that you're gone  
Or maybe unfold some old yellow lost love letters  
It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better  
But I'll never get over you by hidin' this way_

_I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show  
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control  
But I'm just drunk enough to let got of my pain  
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain  
From my eyes  
Tonight I wanna cry_

_  
I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show  
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control  
But I'm just drunk enough to let got of my pain  
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain  
From my eyes  
Tonight I wanna cry  
_

The last notes of the guitar played as the song and the CD ended. Jude was in tears. When she spoke her voice was shaky. "It was wonderful. I loved it. I didn't know that I caused you so much pain though. I'm so sorry."

"Don't be, you gave me inspiration to do my solo album, which I've been wanting to do for years." Tommy was about to continue but the phone rang. It was EJ "Hey EJ, what's up?"

"Tell Jude that we're having a party for her and to be here by noon."

"Umm, Do you think that's a good idea?"

"As a matter of fact I do."

"Ok, well I'll ask Jude if she's up for it." He pulled away from the phone and hollered at Jude "OK we'll be there."

"YAY! ok I'll see you then." EJ rushed off the phone excitedly as Tommy rolled his eyes. Tommy and Jude spent the day together then rushed to the studio. For the party Jude was in a black strapless floor-length dress. It had a corset top, with ribbons. The bottom was black lace with rose patterns, behind it was pure black silk. She wore her hair up and a black choker with a cross and slender chains that draped around her shoulders.

Jude walked down the stairs and was greeted by Tommy who was in a black tux with a dark blue tie. The gorgeous pair walked further down the stairs into the crowded room together into the night. They were sure it was going to be a good night. Nothing could go wrong, or so they thought.


	22. Sanctuary

Chapter 20

Sanctuary

"And now, everybody, the moment we've all been waiting for. Jude Harrison and her fiancé Tom Quincy." Kwest, who yet again was acting as DJ, announced. They walked down the stair with their arms intertwined. As they reached the bottom of the stairs the crowd let out a series of cheers. Jude examined the room. She saw many familiar faces, welcoming her back, but when she looked to the far left of the room she saw two blonds that she never wanted to see again.

"Tommy," Jude tugged at his arm "What the hell are **they** doing here?" Jude spat out and pointed over to Sadie and her mother

"I don't know. Do you want me to get them out of here?"

"Well duh!"

"Alright" Tommy walked up to one of the bouncers and tapped him on the shoulder "You see those two bonds over there?" He pointed to Sadie and Victoria

"Yes Mr. Quincy" The bouncer responded

"Get them out of here, make sure they don't come back. And if they ask why or who told them to leave, tell them Jude Harrison, herself, requested they leave."

"Yes sir." The bouncer bounded off doing his duty. Tommy went back to find Jude. He found her talking with Kat and Jamie while playing with their 3-year-old daughter Janette. Jude turned around to face Tommy because he had lightly tapped her on the shoulder.

"May I have this dance?" He held out his hand and Jude took it. One of Jude's favorite songs by Jamie O'Neal was on. '_Shiver_' played while Tommy and Jude swayed lightly to the music, with Jude's arms around Tommy's neck and Tommy's arms gripped tightly around Jude's waist. The song ended and they both reluctantly pulled away. Kwest announced that Jude would be singing tonight. She took the stage and grabbed the mic.

"Hey everybody, thanks so much for coming out. Tonight I'm singing three songs. The first two are by Jamie O'Neal. The third is the one I wrote. I dedicate all of these to the love of my life, Tom Quincy." A stagehand gave Jude an acoustic guitar she began to strum. "This song is called '**_Sanctuary_**.'"

_What is this thing you do_  
_Make me just tell the truth_  
_Whenever I turn to you I surrender_  
_Fears that I've tried to hide_  
_And every old alibi_  
_Now I see a source of light_  
_Just within my reach_

_You are my sanctuary_  
_My beacon in the night_  
_You opened up your heart_  
_You let me walk inside_  
_When the world is turnin' crazy_  
_I run to your embrace_  
_Only you can save me_  
_I've finally found a place_  
_To lay down the load that I carry_  
_You are my sanctuary_

_Don't know what brought us here_  
_But one thing I know clear_  
_I traveled a trali of tears to find you_  
_Now when I'm on the brink_  
_Down to my weakest link_  
_And the weight makes me sink_  
_Down to my knees_

_You are my sanctuary_  
_My beacon in the night_  
_You opened up your heart_  
_You let me walk inside_  
_When the world is turnin' crazy_  
_I run to your embrace_  
_Only you can save me_  
_I've finally found a place_  
_To lay down the load that I carry_  
_You are my sanctuary_

_Now love seems so easy_  
_You are my everything_  
_So simple you touch me_  
_My worries drift away_

_You are my sanctuary_  
_My beacon in the night_  
_You opened up your heart_  
_You let me walk inside_  
_When the world is turnin' crazy_  
_I run to your embrace_  
_Only you can save me_  
_I've finally found a place_  
_To lay down the load that I carry_  
_You are my sanctuary_

_You are my sanctuary_

"This one is called '**_You Rescued Me_**.'"

_I was a traveler travellin' alone  
Crossin' that desert they call the unknown  
Lost in a valley of shadows and sinking sand  
Hopeless was circling over my head  
Patiently waiting for my last step  
I was a desperate woman in no man's land  
Like an angel of mercy, emotional savior_

_You rescued me in the nick of time  
I was right on the edge of goin' out of my mind  
I was runnin' on empty down to a crawl  
Facing a future with no one at all  
And just before I found out  
How life without love could be  
You rescued me_

_The mind can play tricks when you're wanderin' out there  
Making up visions out of thin air  
That's why I thought I was dreamin' when you appeared  
But your touch had feeling, your kisses were real  
Your voice echoed like a song on a hill  
Somehow you knew what my heart needed to hear  
Like an angel of mercy, emotional savior  
You took me in your arms and out of danger_

_You rescued me in the nick of time  
I was right on the edge of goin' out of my mind  
I was runnin' on empty down to a crawl  
Facing a future with no one at all  
And just before I found out  
How life without love could be  
You rescued me_

_You rescued me in the nick of time  
I was right on the edge of goin' out of my mind  
I was runnin' on empty down to a crawl  
Facing a future with no one at all  
And just before I found out  
How life without love could be  
You rescued me_

_You rescued me in the nick of time  
I was right on the edge of goin' out of my mind  
I was runnin' on empty down to a crawl  
Facing a future with no one at all  
And just before I found out  
How life without love could be  
You rescued me_

"Alright this is the one I wrote. Tommy this is for you. I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused you. But despite it all you've been there by my side through it all. Thank You so much. I love you with everything I am. This is called '**_To Be With You_**'"

_To be with you  
I would risk a thousand lifetimes  
To be with you  
There's no mountain that I wouldn't climb  
If you're the sky  
Let me be the cloud that runs right through you now  
You don't know just how I need to_

_Be with you there can be no substitute  
To be with you  
I've tried to hide my passion but it's  
Just no use  
Piece by piece I lose it when you  
Walk in the room  
How can I get through  
If I can't be with you_

_Every time I close my eyes see your face  
I taste you on my lips  
Every night I fantasize  
That I can feel you on my fingertips_

_To be with you, there's nothing that I wouldn't do  
I'm powerless swept under by your sweet cares  
I'm fadin' fast  
One look at you and I forget just who I am  
I come unglued if I can't be with you_

_Every time I close my eyes I can see your face  
I taste you on my lips  
Every night I fantasize  
That I can feel you on my fingertips_

_Every time I close my eyes I can see your face  
I can taste you on my lips  
Every night I fantasize  
That I can feel you on my fingertips_

_To be with you  
I would risk a thousand lifetimes  
There's no mountain I wouldn't climb  
To be with you  
Every time I close my eyes_

Jude ended the song and got off the stage. She ran straight into Tommy's arms. He whispered into her ear

"Thank you girl. That song was beautiful. I'd do anything to be with you too." Tommy looked around awkwardly and Jude laughed. They hugged and walked back into the roaring crowd. Jude saw someone familiar, she couldn't place him though '_God who is he? And what the hell is he doing here? and where in the hell is he going?_' she thought. The man walked up to the DJ, Kwest was on break, and handed him a CD then whispered into his ear. '_Dizzy_' played over the stereo system, that's when Jude recognized him. Jude was trying to run over to Tommy, who had a horrified look on his face over the song, or to the nearest bouncer but the guy grabbed her arm, hard.

"Hey Jude."

"What are you doing here Nick?"

"Mike sent me."

"What? He couldn't get to me so he sent his pipsqueak younger brother to do it?" Nick dragged Jude into a dark empty room. "What are you doing?"

"Finishing the job Mike started." Nick slapped her across the face, leaving a red mark. Jude took in a deep breath getting ready to scream when she felt the cold steel of a blade on her neck "You scream and you're dead Harrison." He pinned her up against the wall and whispered roughly into her ear. "Mike told me to have fun with you and that's exactly what I plan on doing."

"You're just as insane as your brother." Jude scoffed

"What did you say to me?"

"I'll slow it down for you so you can understand. I said. You – are – just – as – insane – as – your – brother."

"That's what I thought." Nick slapped her on the face again and she let out a tiny whimper. Out of nowhere two strong arms grabbed Nick off of Jude and threw him against the wall.

"Get the hell off my fiancé" Tommy's voice boomed out. Jude pushed herself off the wall and into Tommy's arms. Tommy pulled out his cell phone and called the cops. They arrived and took Nick into custody. The officers asked Jude and Tommy a few questions before leaving. Tommy tried to make sure Jude was okay but she just brushed him off and said that she was fine, with the exception of the darkening bruises on her face and arm.

"I think I'm gonna go home." Jude kissed Tommy as he was about to follow but Jude turned around "Alone. at least for right now. You stay and enjoy the party."

"Ok? Are you sure?"

"Yeah." Jude ran out of the party as fast as she could. Speeding down the highway to the nearest liquor store she started to sing one of the songs she created in rehab '_Giving In._' She went into the ABC store, grabbed 4 bottles of whiskey and paid the cashier. Throwing her bags into the backseat of her car Jude quietly thought to herself of her distress. It seemed that every time she was happy something of that horrible time would come back to haunt her. Then she started to think of those lives that were lost by that bastard, Mike. Her two unborn children had been taken by the actions of those closest to her. When Jude got home she immediately started on her newly bought items.

At the party Tommy had an unshakable feeling that something was wrong with Jude. So he bid his farewells to everyone at the party and headed home. Tommy entered the house and instantly heard Jude singing. '_Family has tried to heal all my addictions._' He followed her voice and found her on her third bottle of whiskey. Surveying the area Tommy noticed the two empty bottles on the floor.

"Jude what the hell are you doing?"

"Drinking"

"Why?" Jude raised the bottle as if she were toasting something and said

"Here's to Giving in." She took a long swallow of the whiskey that finished off the bottle and grabbed the last bottle that was full. Tommy waltzed over to her and grabbed it from her hands and she screamed "GIVE THAT BACK TO ME! That's my last one!"

"NO! Jude, we've been here before. And the last time you did this you ended up in the hospital. Remember that? Doc said no more drinking." Jude just scoffed and started to sing '_Giving In_' from the beginning. She was heading towards the door but she passed out before she got there. Tommy just sighed and carried her upstairs.


End file.
